On Romance...

So, I just purchased this book FOR MY husband...When you've been married 15 years, you tend to lose that spark you had when you were first dating and I'm trying to remind him of all the little things he used to do. Yes, having 5 kids makes it much harder to do, but we all have busy lives. So, my next 3 blog posts are going to be what I learned and liked from reading this book and hopefully you will find fun ways to express love to YOUR spouse as well.

First off, maybe the boring part, but these quotes stood out to me. Share them with your spouse, and apply them to yourself as well of course.

1. Love is like an immunization process. You have to provide booster shots in order to receive the maximum long-term protection against the "enemy". The enemy can be many things, like germs and bacteria that might cause our children to get ill, and in the case of love, if we don’t get immunized and give each other booster shots the enemy can be, for instance, work, tired, hurtful words, taking advantage of each other, and forgetting to touch and say kind, loving things to each other.

2. Never settle for being average. "Many men have the impression that as long as they are not yelling at their wives, beating them, cheating on them, or leaving huge messes around the house, they must be good husbands. All that means is that they aren’t bad husbands. They are probably just average husbands. A man shouldn’t only not cheat on his wife, he should passionately seduce her. Not being a total slob isn’t bad but helping your wife with the chores is even better. Giving her a whole day or week off from her usual chores and you doing them for her is best. Men should never settle for being average. If your relationship has been in neutral, it’s time for you to move into first gear."

3. We need more public examples of romance, not less. I’m not talking about make-out sessions, but the gentle things you do to express your affection. Children, friends, and neighbors need to see more couples holding hands, exchanging butterfly kisses, and gazing into each other’s eyes. It’s how they are going to learn to be romantic themselves.

4. In Australia they have what we call the tall poppy syndrome. In order not to let one get higher than the others, they will cut them down. We have this nasty habit of cutting down all the poppies around us if we are feeling particularly low ourselves. We are tearing up our flower garden. Your mate’s flower is wrapped around yours, if you cut theirs down, yours will be butchered too.

5. Fathers, do you love your children? Do you REALLY love your children? Would you like to know what is the single most important thing you can do for them that will increase their comfort, security and happiness? Time? Unconditional love? A good education? Sage advice? All of these are important, but I consider one thing even more so. Love their mother! Really love their mother.
Nothing contributes more to a child’s sense of worth, comfort and security than seeing their mother well loved. Nothing helps children to have loving, stable, happy relationships than witnessing the same with their parents.
"His father" was much more concerned about his own desires and expectations than the needs of my mother. He didn’t realize that a woman needs to be frequently told and shown that she is special and loved. A woman needs to spend quality time alone with her husband, not just with "the girls". She needs a man who appreciates her special qualities and considers her brain more important than her body.

6. Love is like customer service: Those who work in customer service are taught that when a customer has a complaint, we should first listen to them. We are often tempted to try to solve their "problem" before we even hear them finish telling us why they are upset. If we listen to their whole story, sometimes that in itself satisfies them. They just needed to let off a little steam.
The second step in good customer service is to acknowledge the problem and to be genuinely sorry that everything did not go as expected. A simple yet sincere apology satisfies many situations.
Only after we have fully heard the complaint and have acknowledged their suffering can we truly offer some sort of compensation. In many cases if you ask a customer how they would like the situation remedied, they will offer a solution that is both very fair and will have them very satisfied.
The next time your mate comes to you with a complaint, don’t butt in, but fully listen to them. Be understanding and express sympathy for their hurt feelings. Ask them how they would like to be compensated for their troubles. If you treat them like they are your number one customer they will remain loyal to you.