About a month ago, I sort of had an epiphany. Anyone that knows the Applegates, knows that they LOVE children. And anyone that's heard Ken and I talk, have heard how he wants a dozen kids, yes, the movie "Cheaper by the Dozen".... he thinks... was hilarious. I thought it was quite the nightmare. After that breakfast scene, ugh, if I were the mother, I'd want to crawl back in bed for the rest of the day after that.
Well, I've always said, this 5th child was my LAST child. That's it, done, finished. I remember sitting inside Fazoli's (remember that "instant" fast food Italian place, I sort of miss it now) and there was this family. They must have been of Middle Eastern descent, because I remember looking at them and thinking "What a beautiful family." The kids were all teenage and above, and guess what, they had 3 beautiful girls and 2 handsome boys. And I just thought...that's US....10...15 years from now. Yes, that's us. (Did I mention the mother looked beautiful in that I take care of myself kind of way some women just have...)
Well, the other day it just sort of popped into my head, this "NEW Deal". I take care of my body and LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT I have gained from being a mother...yes, back to my wedding dress size. AND.........then......... I'll have another CHILD. Specifically one of these....
Yes, that's a little Tahitian girl!
which I have had a strong feeling is lacking ever since they announced that Zane was a boy. I thought I'd only have one boy and the rest girls for some reason. I do realize even if I DO accomplish this monumental task, and it WILL take a couple of years, LOTS of weight to lose, we could end up with something more like this....
and that's o.k. Because for me the end goal is not the child, but the NEW me. It'd take a complete lifestyle change and turn around to accomplish this. And I would then be having a baby when my girls are all teenagers (another thing I said I would NEVER do), but they are WAY too excited about this. We started off really well the first two weeks, the children being my "GO EXERCISE AND DONATE YOUR WEIGHT TO THE BABY" Nazi's. Then, I decided what I really want is a treadmill, and I've slacked BIG time in going out and walking. We watched a movie last night and I told the family, "HEY, if we had a treadmill I could've just walked through this whole movie" Yeah, if I had a treadmill...lol...Anyone want to donate their unused treadmill to the Applegates having another baby cause...or let's call it, Clarice getting in control of her life cause...that sounds better to me!
I know, I know, I'm crazy! But this just feels right to me...It gives me a goal to change the path I am on right now, and a reward for my family and myself at the end. The kids keep saying why not just go straight to the reward. They don't realize, it's the journey of change I am after....a new child is just the added benefit once I get control of my life.
(PS. The old deal was Ken becomes a millionaire and I have 3 more children, so this one's better, right? LOL! BUT I'll still take the millionaire one...God, are you listening? I'll do it! I'll do it! Bring it on!)
4 comments:
It's official. Clarice has gone nutz.
OK - so doing the math - lose weight = 1 more. Then I do the millionaire thing = 3 more. So that's... let's see... 9 total !!! Sweet! As for the gone nutz part... well, she married an Applegate - it was only a matter of time before she actually morphed into one. :P
Just take it one step at a time. First, you getting healthier. In every way. Time for yourself, filling your life with more of the things you truly love and find pleasure in, and then taking on the ability to exercise and love it. Something Fidel tries to encourage in me every day...after ten years...im just not onboard yet.
Then- when you are where you want to be in life, work on that baby. If we plan things together maybe we can plan the next group of grandkids- but you'll have to give me a good 6-8 years. That's when I'm thinking we'll be ready for adoption...
Totally agree with your health and the Clarice you envision. It will be a very good experience for your children too: to see you perservere to reach what you feel is important. As far as the baby goes..I know this strong desire to complete the family...it got me pregnant and now going through the summer heat. I feel more punished that rewarded. Ah ah.
Well, let's plan this new cousin tribe in five years.
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