France

Sometimes what's best for yourself:

A Trip to France to study the language and get college credit at the same time:

Isn't what's best for your family....

I could really use a break from life, 5 weeks of learning the language and enjoying France doesn't sound like a bad idea...some day...

I was in a study group from one of my classes and we were discussing freedom. One of the guys asked us mothers how we defined freedom in our own lives. We both agreed that there was NO such thing as freedom once you have a child. You are completely and utterly responsible for that child for 18 years straight. Freedom... possibly the moments you get away from them, but even then, it's fleeting, because there's no forgetting about them wherever we are. That's a good thing I guess. Our species wouldn't have survived if all the parents decided to abandon their young :)

On Marriage..

While we're on the topic of marriage,

I just finished this book, For Women Only:

I was split on some of the things I read. She surveyed thousands of husbands and the book is her findings and advice. There were good stuff:

7 Revelations:

Our surface understanding: "Men need Respect"

What that means in practice: "Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.

Our surface understanding: "Men are insecure"

What that means in practice: "Despite their in control exterior, men often feel like imposters and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered"

Our surface understanding: "Men are providers"

What that means in practice: "Even if you personally made enough money to support the family's lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.

Our surface understanding: "Men want more sex"

What that means in practice: "Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life."

Our surface understanding: "Men are visual"

What that means in practice: "Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women"

Our surface understanding: "Men are unromantic clods"

What that means in practice: "Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic-but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.

Our surface understanding: "Men care about appearance"

What that means in practice: "You don't need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself-and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you"

I was feeling fine until I got to the end. That's when I realized the book was ALL about the man, the man, the man. I remember clearly the days when I had little infants and toddlers to take care of and how HARD it was to give attention to my husband and take care of his needs to. My own needs weren't being met. I never did figure out how to get over that when my kids were little, but thankfully now that I'm out of that stage in my life, I have been able to focus on strenthening our relationship. I'm not physically burned out by the attention that little children that rely solely on you for their survival need.

So, even though I KNEW all this stuff even back then, I didn't know how and where to come up with the ENERGY to do it all.

So, what do you think, any suggestions to those Mom's still out there dealing with trying to focus on their relationship while at the same time as raising her little ones?

I think the author has a book called "For Men Only" about us women...I might go read it to get a well rounded look at things...

Opposites Attract

So, recently I wrote a college paper about transcendence in my life. If you don't know what that word means, here's the wikipedia explanation:

In everyday language, "transcendence" means "going beyond", and "self-transcendence" means going beyond a prior form or state of oneself

What that means is understand another's point of view, transcending our own world into theirs. We watched this movie as part of understanding the differences among people and how we choose to live with those and act upon those.

Snow Falling on Cedars:

But what my paper was really about was my relationship with Ken. See, we are complete and utter opposites...this is part of what I wrote:

First of all, when you see us, you will immediately notice that my
husband is tall, and I am short. He grew up in a Catholic family, I grew up in an LDS family. He grew up in an international culture, going to private schools with maids, drivers, gardeners, and ya-ya’s (the Filipino equivalent of nannies). I grew up in Provo, Utah, where 80% of the population were the same LDS religion. Ironically, he loves the snow, and his dream vacation would be to go to Alaska. I can’t stand the snow, and my dream vacation would be to go to Hawaii. He would love to live in the country. I have to be within driving distance of a Costco. I love to buy things, he won’t even buy himself a new pair of sweats. He comes from a very affective family where hugs were commonly shared, my family from a neutral culture.

His idea of a good night out would be going to a nightclub or playing volleyball all night. Mine would be to sit at home in front of a nice, warm fireplace reading a good book. He’s a very faith driven person, I’m a show me the facts type of person. He’s conservative, I’m liberal. His dream in life would be to have 12 children and I can barely handle the 5 we have. He loves work with a flexible schedule, I still believe in the 9-5 myth. He loves to drive fast, and I’m deathly afraid of speed. He could run up to the top of Timpanogos Cave, I barely can make it up. He makes jokes all day, I have no sense of humor. He’s an extrovert, I’m an introvert. Finally he sees the cup as half full, I tend to see it as half empty.

So, how do we make it work out? We find what we do have in common, we respect each other's interests, and we go out of our comfort zone to do some of the things the other one loves. I finally decided to go to a club with Ken, and it wasn't that bad if you go with a group of friends. He'll stay in and watch a movie with me. I'll let him go play volleyball as much as he wants, he'll let me read as much as I want. Don't ask me how and why it happens, but it works. We complement each other.

So how ABOUT you? Did you marry your opposite and what tips of advice do you have that have worked for you?

What a man!

So, this is where I get to brag and show off my tall, dark and handsome husband. This last year he's gotten into the whole acting/modeling thing. It's had its ups and downs, but these photos are definitely one of the plus sides of being in the business. All photographs taken by professional photographers. Am I going to take the time to list each one? NO. So if they want to come hunt me down for posting a picture of my husband on my blog, let them.

Let's see where the future takes us with this one!

Oh yeah, he's also in this video, but most of you already know that:



Love you Ken!

Your own Personal Jesus

Some of you may know I have been on the quest for "My" picture of Jesus. Several friends and family have this one by Carl Bloch in their homes, which I like, but I have this tendency to not want to have the same picture as everyone else.

I really like the style and color in J. Kirk Richard's portraits:

But one day I walked into Seagull Book and found this painting, and even better yet, it was 75% off! It's by a local Utah artist named Benjamin McPherson, so this is THE ONE (so far) on my living room wall, until I find the next best picture. My kids think he's kid of scary, I say he's just PRAYING, good grief!

When I showed a friend this picture she said "Hey, that looks like some musician you posted on your facebook wall not too long ago" My reply, Oh, you mean this guy, Matisyahu?

So, yep, kind of funny, huh, how in my quest to find Christ, I find one that looks like one of my favorite musicians.

Also, just the other day I was at my mothers house and saw THIS picture of Jesus by Greg Olsen and I told her, I SWEAR, he looks exactly like the guy who leads the discussion in my Peace and Justice Studies study groups, EXACTLY!

So I guess, Jesus really is all around us? right :)

On a side note, this IS the next painting I want to get in my home, it's called, "The Tree of Life" by Uota Kazuto:

Nice, huh?