My life in a scrapbook

Words to live by

2012-01-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

So last year I created this post:

http://islandgirlinutah.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-of-those-stupid-words.html

It was my word of the year I was going to work on, and that word was COMPLETE....

How'd it go? Alright? One of my goals was to get more out of my reading, and I've taken to writing notes about the books I've read, not being afraid to mark them up with my favorite passages, and writing in between the lines what I liked. I was also going to try to complete my projects, and that sort of went ok. The last thing I was going to do was to be complete in my relationships. I've been working on that too. But, in hindsight, I probably should have reminded myself of this goal a little bit more.

That's why this New Year, I am going to be hanging up a reminder to myself of my new word, and guess what it is? I asked Keilani to guess what it was, and I was surprised that she knew it right away. I guess she's around me a lot to know what matters to me, and it is CLEAN!!!!

I want the following in my life:

1. A CLEAN home
2. A CLEAN heart
3. A CLEAN spirit
4. A CLEAN body
5. A CLEAN mind

That encompasses a way of life, a pathway of making the right choices to keep my body clean, to keep my mind clean, my heart, and my home. To be doing the things to keep my spirit clean. When I say clean, I mean pure and not contaminated with the worlds junk that gets in all of us. Clean and pure.

So, does anyone have any good quotes for me to use to remember my goal? I plan on putting it up as a wall quote once I find the perfect one that embodies all of this. What about you, what one word would you use to describe your goals for the New Year?

End of the Year book Report

2011-12-31T16:02:00.000-08:00

Time for my recap of all the books I've read the second half of the year. I do this as much for myself as for you. I like to look back and reflect on what I've just read. I saw a recent post on Facebook today that I shared. It's a quote by W.H. Auden, "A real book is not one that we read, but one that reads us." Those are my favorite books, ones that speak to my soul and heart.

Another big thing I noticed as I was typing this was, "You are what you read". In September I read two books about suicide. Dear Everybody and 13 Reasons Why. Both these books looked at it from an interesting perspective, from letters written from those that killed themselves for those still living. I've always felt this drive to document my life and my stories for my posterity in case anything should happen to me, so this method sparked my interest. BUT, I found myself wondering if like the characters, I should write a letter to each of my family members and people in my life and not just in case anything should happen to me, but more as an insurance in case I decided I wanted to commit suicide myself. The choice would be all that much easier to make because you had prepared things in advance for your words to be left behind. I even told Ken I felt like I was being HAUNTED by the thought of suicide, and I didn't grasp and get over it until mid November, so it lasted about 6 weeks.

It's only looking back at this list now that I realized what I had done. By reading these books I had sparked the idea in my head, which grasped on to whatever weaknesses I had, and toyed around with them for weeks. Luckily during that time I was also reading some positive psychology books and my favorite book of the year, Imagine a women in love with herself, with meditations for women. Now THAT book was pure poetry. I don't think I regret reading the two books on suicide, but from here on out I will make sure to watch the feelings I have after reading a book and make sure I am not being influenced for the negative by what I just read. (Another reason I stopped reading novels like The Pilots Wife with story lines of men who commit adultery. As if I needed to be mad at my husband because some OTHER fictitious man couldn't be faithful)

So here goes using the Goodreads rating system:

1star: Didn't like it
2 stars: It was ok
3 stars: Liked it
4 stars: Really liked it
5 stars: Loved it

August:
A Lover's Dictionary: A Novel by David Levithan   4 stars
Sum: 40 Tales from the Afterlives by David Eagleman 5 stars
Mother Wove the Morning: A One woman play by Carol Lynn Pearson   4 stars
Schooled by Michael Korman 4 stars

September:
Dear Everybody by Michael Kimball   4 stars
My Secret: A PostSecret Book by Frank Warren   2 stars
13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher 3 stars
The Power of a Woman's Words by Sharon Jaynes   4 stars
The Year of Fog by Michelle Richmond 4 stars
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink 3 stars

October:
Secrets of the Heart by Khalil Gibran 4 stars
The Believing Brain by Michael Shermer   4 stars
Imagine a Woman in Love with herself by Patricia Lynn Reilly 5 stars

November:
The Space Between Us by Thrity Umrigar   5 stars
Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman    5 stars
The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky   5 stars
The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drummond 5 stars
For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti Feldhhan 5 stars

December
Why do Men Have Nipples by Mark Leyner 2 stars
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See   4 stars
Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah 4 stars
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex 2 stars

Christmas Eve/Day

2011-12-26T14:34:00.000-08:00

We always act out the nativity scene. Guess what Vivian is? An angel of course

Let's see, Natasha is the donkey that Maeva is then riding on. Kalel was Joseph, Zane there in the brown shirt in the front is a camel, and Tane is his wise man. Keilani I think is a shepherdess???

The kids exchanged handmade white elephant gifts.

Grandma got them all the usual pj's plus some cute pillowcases

There was the cutest little note in there about how much their Grandma and Grandpa love them and even though they can't always see them, to look inside the pillow and look at the hearts to remind them they are loved each time they lay their heads down on their pillows.

Handstitched of course.

Me in all my glory.

and my baking skills, I made the crescent rolls this time.

My father requested there be Poisson Cru (raw fish) for dinner with our turkey.

Our tree full of gifts from aunts and uncles and family.

My handsome husband.

I love how the younger kids are, the easier they are to please with their gifts.

This was my favorite thing I made for Ken, it's a photo cube for him to take to work with each of the kids when they were babies and how they are now all grown up, this one's Natasha and Kalel

and Keilani and Vivian.

And Bugaboo!

Ken and his daddy love. I 'm not done with this gift, I need to trim the pages down, add their names and some sort of quote. Family is what matters in the long run, isn't it?

I hope your family had a Merry Christmas too! and a Happy New Year to everyone!

Our Family's Christmas Newsletter

2011-12-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

So, I sort of feel like I'm missing out on a cool tradition... the yearly Christmas newsletter. So here goes our online blog version, since I'm too lazy/busy to print one up and mail them. I've enjoyed the ones I've read so far, especially this one, she inspired me to write our own!

http://shauntewadley.blogspot.com/2011/12/december-greetings.html

Seriously, go click on the link and read it, she's one funny woman!

So here goes ours:

As many of you know, Ken has been busy building his acting career. It's amazing how many countless film projects he's been in since he began just over a year ago, but still manages to have a decent home life with us.

The highlight of Clarice's year was getting to go to Connecticut and New York in October. She's discovered for her sanity she NEEDS to get on an airplane at least once a year. Hmmm, where will she go this year? She's also still going to school full time while trying to take care of 5 children, carpooling and all, wish her luck in the New Year, she'll need it!

Keilani turned 15 this year and just got her learner's permit. She's badgering us about taking Driver's ED. I guess it will be a good thing, because then she'll be able to help with the carpooling. She's also very responsible and has taken over as second mom status. The kids just love it, NOT!

Natasha turned 13 and finally got a Facebook account. She's in 7th grade and turning into quite the woman. I can say that because she's almost caught up to me in bra size, lol. Almost...

Vivian is in 5th grade. She continues to be her unique self and Keilani says she's getting sassier and sassier. I say she's just following her older sister's examples.

Kalel just turned 8, he will be baptized in a few weeks. He's growing into quite the sensitive boy, which I like, as he'll turn into a sensitive man and every woman wants that!

Zane is our crazy dude. He likes to sing along to any song he hears on the radio, and that includes songs like, "I'm Sexy and I know it". Hmmm, maybe I need to introduce him to some classical music via piano lessons. He's obviously musically inclined and has been since he was a little one.

On another note, we moved to a new home in Orem, we downsized from 6 bedrooms to 4 bedrooms, which has been an adjustment. Our yard size doubled though and we got to experiment in gardening this year, that was interesting.

We look forward to the year 2012 and all the amazing things that will happen, as long as the end of the world doesn't hit this time next year.

Festival of Trees 2011

2011-12-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

Going to the Festival of Trees each year, has been a great tradition. The only thing I find is I end up taking LESS and LESS pictures as a lot of the stuff isn't so NEW to me anymore, so here I will post some of the more unusual stuff we saw

A happy birthday tree? That works, I guess, it's Jesus birthday right?

A Neon Trees tree, awesome.

This I just liked because of the whole Apple Farm thing.

My kids were intrigued why there was an Indian/Native American on top of the White house. Hmmm, what was the message they were trying to send?

My favorite part of the night was going to pick up Kens car and finding this light coat of snow to which the kids took their artistic/.linguist skills to

Applegates Rock!

Yes, that says chicken butt. We have a joke going around when someone asks what's up, one would reply chicken butt, I guess because it rhymes? Ask Ken, I think he's the one that started it.

SNOW MAN!

WIPE ME!

Ornaments

2011-12-23T15:00:00.000-08:00

We added a few new ornaments to our tree this year, on loan courtesy of my mother who had them sitting in storage and I claimed them to use this year, I'll put them back in her storage for her to use in Christmas future. This is a Filipino star ornament.

I don't know where she got this cute angel one, but I love it.

She got this in Africa

and this was from Uncle Paul this year, thanks Paul!

Well, I did use up this vinyl my Mom had, sorry you won't be able to use it again Mom.

another Filipino star ornament.

Tasha added the snowflakes and pearl border across the top of our living room wall.

And added the lights. The stockings obviously had nowhere to go but on the bookshelves.

Tasha also made this big countdown to Christmas thing with cardboard and lots of my scrapbook paper.

so this is our Christmas 2011....

A walk to the beach

2011-11-25T15:28:00.000-08:00

My favorite part about anyplace is going to the Beach, so here's a bunch of us going on a walk down to the beachfront

My favorite goofy 5 year old

What a marvelous night for a Moondance...I love that song, so had to take a picture of this dancing bear on someone's house.

and had to take a picture of this house simply because it's RED

How about this one, pretty nice, huh!

Moi!

Mon amour!

TRYING to get a family picture

Breathtaking!

Me and my buddy!

and my favorite 8 year old!

There, is THAT one better? More pics to come later, we accidentally erased them, so have to try to recover them, but they may or may not involve a certain someone in this picture jumping in to the lake! Any guesses on WHO?

A Tahoe Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T14:54:00.000-08:00

First off we were supposed to stay at this house, but the craziest thing happened, a bear broke in to the house the very day we were supposed to arrive, yep, broke the door down and ransacked the house, A BEAR! Apparently it's a big problem over there in Lake Tahoe.

So we ended up finding this cabin in the same neighborhood, call it an UPGRADE. Ken's mother did all the arrangements, many thanks to her for hosting 18 people in one house for Thanksgiving!

They found this picture of George Washington and decided to bring it out for the Thanksgiving Prayer

Ken and I were in charge of the turkey, that means KEN got to get up at 7am and get this turkey cooking.

the other goodies

and more

This was just HALF of the table

Vivian has been waiting awhile now for pomegranates to come back in to season!

Hint #1 that the family that owned the home was actually LDS

The kids made a mini snowman on the balcony

One of the guest rooms

I just like this

Our king size bed

and jacuzzi tub, yes I used it!

Now I want a laundry room with a sink and counter, SO nice to work in!

I could also cook in this kitchen all day, 2 dishwashers, convection oven, and all the appliances you would need!

The kids made a gingerbread house that Grandpa brought. the gingerbread was even from Germany.

And our favorite little cousin Daisy! She was the highlight of our trip!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-04T12:38:00.000-07:00

My sister always throws the coolest parties, this was a Harry Potter party!

The kids made broomsticks

NOT my baby, but too cute not to take a picture!

The FEAST!

complete with dry ice effects!

Ready to go trick or treating!

Natasha was a Goddess

Keilani was a peacock

Zane and his cousin were Transformers and Kalel was a pirate

All the Applegates

All because two people fell in love!

The girls with their cousin

and the boys with their cousin.

Fun times!

And Vivian turns 11!

2011-11-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

I flew out the night of Vivian's birthday, but not before we celebrated it. Nancy did a photo shoot with her new costume she got for her birthday:

And here's the cake Nancy made too!

Vivian getting gifts, she wanted a watch:

and boots:

and jewelry...therefore new earrings and the bracelets she's wearing too:

We love you Vivian!

While I was gone...

2011-11-02T11:46:00.000-07:00

I have the best sister and mother around. My mother helped with the kids carpooling and my sister helped keep my kids occupied by having them sleepover and taking them to the Vineyard Pumpkin Patch. Muchas gracias to the both of them! If you see an extra few kids in there, that'd be the cousins!

For the fun of it, here's a picture of my girls and Kalel there 6 years ago:

and here they are now!

My favorite picture!

2011-11-01T01:04:00.000-07:00

Hey, I forgot to post my favorite picture taken DAY one from my cell phone camera! It's ME and my shadow!!

I had other ones that didn't include those two men walking on the beach, but I like how they add to the atmosphere. A lone woman, walking through this world, living this thing called MY life. I love that the sand looks like it's actually underwater, it was just beautiful!

Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

Zuccoti Park: the first thing you notice are the police officers:

The people:

Sleeping:

Protesting:

The colors:

The music: I actually got this drum circle on video, if only I knew how to post it:

The press:

The humanity: This first picture reminded me of 9/11, the second one is a picture of all their blankets and sleeping bags put away for the day, these people actually SLEEP there, dedication for sure!

My favorite part, the words:

I like this of course:

Did you think this said something else? I did when I first looked back at the photos I took, lol

Ah, you are appreciated! Thanks

I loved this Walt Whitman quote:

Yes, let's do:



Who these people really are:



This was a garbage bucket, it said, "The struggle is not over" MLK. I so agree on all levels!

The poetry: This was a book of thoughts the people have been writing since Week 1:

More words to Walt Whitman:

A pearl and it's journey:

The generosity: This is a man explaining the concept of their free library. Honor system, take what you want, donate if you want, leave a book in return. Bring it back when you're done with it... if you want to. Now that's my kind of library, too bad I was traveling with only a backpack and didn't want to weight it down any further as I already had probably 5 books in it already.

The drama: These people were shouting at the man representing EGO to GROW UP! LOVED it!

The final message I got on my way out, these people are trying to change our current financial system to something that benefits all mankind. I can admire them for that. They CARE, and it's the people that care enough about something to take a stand that change the world.Thanks to everyone that CARES, no matter what your political persuasions and other beliefs are.

Day Five: Back to NYC

2011-10-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

This was quite the serene moment for me when waiting to board the 830am train to Manhattan. The sun was shining, and I just soaked in those last moments knowing I wouldn’t be coming back to Connecticut since my brother will be moving away from there next year.

I took the subway straight to Zuccotti Park to check out Occupy Wall Street, that deserves a whole post of it’s own, so I’ll save that for my next blog post.

I walked down Wall Street which I’d never done before. Went inside Trinity church, and sat at the front pew, took this picture:

Policeman:

Statue:

New York Stock Exchange:

WTC site:

Went to Battery Park to get tshirts and hats to bring home to the kids

Then I went to the Manhattan LDS temple, which by the way, I never knew was right across the street from Juillard.

Cuteness, and it's RED:

Had some pizza:


And then hot chocolate from here:


Walked to Central Park:


Got to watch the news being filmed:

And FINALLY got someone to take a picture of me waiting for the flight:

Kicked off my boots and wore my flip flops for the plane ride home:

Day Four: Chill at home

2011-10-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

I had just spent a rainy day in Boston, and knew I was going to be in Manhattan ALL day the next day, so I was content to just chill out at my brothers house in Connecticut this day. I took their boys to the park, did my laundry, and finished up the two books I was reading, so it was a good day! Here’s a picture of the cuties…and their dad.

Day Three: Boston

2011-10-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

Day three was RAINY, and when I mean rainy, it didn’t just rain 20 minutes and then go away. It rained from morning to night CONSTANTLY. So, I chose to take a day trip in to Boston, stopping by Providence, Rhode Island on the way. Again, since it was raining, I didn’t choose to get out of my car and get soaked, so here’s a few pictures I got from the car.

Providence:

Rainy Bridge:

More rain:

This is my favorite picture taken in Little Italy!

What to do when it rains? Go to the temple…. So for my first time in over a year, I go into the Boston Temple. I get to go through the session ALONE, meaning I was the ONLY person there. It was kind of nice, it reminded me that each of our journeys on this earth are individual.


I then went to the Boston Museum of Art. Wednesday nights are FREE! How convenient! Here’s some stuff from their modern exhibit:



And my favorite piece made from recycled bottle caps and labels in Nigeria:

Close up:

Another cool one:

Ah, look at the headless woman. I feel like like her sometimes.

And these two are beautiful by Rodin.

And the Self portraits for the day: I’m too shy to ask someone to take my picture sometimes.

Day Two Connecticut

2011-10-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

I went on a walk to the marina. My camera’s battery died about 5 minutes into it, so these are the pictures I got from my camera phone.

A walk in the woods, nothing better than it being near the harbor too. I have a cool story to share about this later in another blog post.

Before it died, I got a picture of these images on my way to the marina:

I love signs:

An old church:

Wall art:

Sittin on the dock of the bay:

and this little quote in a shop nearby was my favorite. I really did feel like it was Just another day in paradise. The only thing to make it better would have been to have my husband with me. But I did enjoy the solitude, I think we all need to get at least a few hours alone to ourselves often. At least once a week! That’s going to be my goal. And I mean QUALITY alone time, not just shopping, or studying. Go on a walk, go to the mountains. My only regret is that I don’t get to live near the beach to make it REALLY meaningful to me like this time in Connecticut I had. There’s beauty in the water that I think comes down to me through my generations of ancestors that LIVED with the water constantly around them, it was a part of their lives, and there’s definitely a feeling of missing something living here in Utah.

A man sort of perplexed me, after I took that picture he was walking out the door of the shop and he said, “Pictures are for people that don’t believe”. I don’t know if his implication was that if you have to take a picture, you have to make yourself believe it. Well, I look at things with an artists eye. When I see beauty, I want to capture it. I want to be able to remember it, and I can’t trust my memories to serve me well. That is why people write poems, sing songs, read, paint, create art, and yes... take pictures. Because we appreciate the beauty so much we have to capture it. We want it to last forever, and not just in that moment. What do you think?

NYC Day one

2011-10-26T20:11:00.000-07:00

I spent last week in NYC, no, really in Connecticut. ButI did fly to JFK and then take the train in to Connecticut. It was a solitary trip, a chance for me to get away for a bit, and also to get to see my brother and his family one more time before they move away from there next year.

Day one NYC was really Day one Connecticut.
I was too tired to spend the day in NYC after a shuteye flight into JFK, so I surprised Marie a day early with my presence. Thanks to Marie for coming and picking me up, had I known it was only a few blocks away I could have walked…lol.

I think this was my favorite day because I got to spend time alone at the beach. I loved the rock art that people have been making, and just spent my time capturing the beauty of it all on camera to remember forever. I don’t have a lot of words to describe this day, since I really feel a picture is worth a thousand words. So here goes:

And Outtakes...

2011-10-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

I just had to share this series of photos between Ken and Tasha last night...SO reminded me of Aunt Marie!

Ken giving hugs!

Tasha trying to escape!

Look, it's the lick! This is the one that reminded me of Aunt Marie!

She gives up!

Yesterday

2011-10-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

As traditional calls for in the Fall, we went to Squaw Peak last night. Afterwards we went to Vivian Park for a picnic. There were a few families there with their grandparents and I thought about how someday we might be coming there with our little grandkids. Hopefully we would be living somewhere else OTHER than Utah by then. I still have this desire to travel the world, and Ken has this desire to act, which could lead us anywhere too. But Provo Canyon in the fall, will always be a place we can go to remember our past. We've been going here ever since 1994.

Squaw Peak 2011


Us, 16 yrs and counting!


Just for perspective, this was the girls 8 years ago

and now, Vivian, almost 11!

Natasha at 12


Keilani at 15

and for perspective again, the boys 5 years ago

Now Zane, a serious face!

Everyone looks at him!

There we go, sort of...

Sunday Talks...

2011-09-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, Ken and I were asked to give talks on Sunday. In our church each week we get the opportunity to hear from new people each Sunday, so it never gets boring, and you never know what you're in for. Well, this Sunday they got to hear from almost all of the Applegates. My two girls were the youth speakers, I was asked to speak on faith in Christ's teachings, and Ken on faith in Christ's atonement.

I focused a lot on the words of Cheiko Okazaki, a former Relief Society presidency member back in the 1990's, right when I was becoming a new mother msyelf. Her words of inclusion of all people are similar to me of what Christ taught back in his time. She passed away just this year, but her words and legacy will last forever. So, here's the full talk in all of it's glory for you to read. I probably didn't deliver it exactly as you read it, but this is the general idea I put out there. I must have done well, since I was asked to substitute teach in Sunday School the following week, and I accepted the challenge, crazy ME!

Ken and I met in the Philippines, my last year of high school. I was born in Tahiti, but raised here in Provo. Ken was born in Virginia, but raised in the Philippines. My last year of high school, my father who works in the church translation department, had to move to the Philippines to help set up their translation department. I met Ken at the International School of Manila there. After I came back to Utah the following year, Ken followed me here, was baptized, and then we were married a year later. 10 months after that Keilani was born, and now the rest is Applegate history.

It wasn’t a full year since Ken was baptized that we wanted to get married while my family was back in town on home leave for the summer. I didn’t want the traditional here comes the bride scenario so I chose to have my best friends mother play the song As I have loved you on piano as I walked down the aisle. These are the lyrics:

As I have Loved you. Love one another. This new commandment. Love one another. By this shall men know, ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

You all may remember when we had the Jehovah Witnesses in our neighborhood not too long ago. They had another thing coming when they arrived at my house as I had just finished reading Neale Donald Walsh’s book “Friendship with God.” For those of you not familiar with him, his message is.

WE ARE ALL ONE. OURS IS NOT A BETTER WAY, OURS IS MERELY ANOTHER WAY.

I had a long discussion with them trying to help them see my viewpoint. From what I understood they were only interested in “saving” us. They didn’t realize that I respect their religion as much as my own, and as much as anyone else’s in our world.

In John 14: 2 Jesus said, “My father’s house has many mansions.” Christ was going to prepare the way. I find comfort in our LDS perspective and the different degrees of glory. I find comfort that each person in the afterlife will find themselves where they are most comfortable. There is a place in heaven for all people, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and even the Jehovah Witnesses. We aren’t all condemned to go to hell if we didn’t follow a certain path. My favorite quote from Walsh’s book was “Must a rose be “better” than an iris in order to justify it’s existence? I tell you this: you are all flowers in the Garden of the Gods.”

I like the way Cheiko Okazaki worded it in her book Cat’s Cradle,

“What teaches us gratitude better than diversity? In a world of apples, grapes, bananas, mangos, pineapples, plums and papaya, where on earth did we ever get the idea as Mormon women that we should all look alike, sound alike, and talk alike?”

Cheiko also said,

“Yes, unity is important in the church. But sometimes we misread these strong messages for unity as instructions to look alike, talk alike, dress alike, think alike, have the same number of children, keep house a certain way, serve green jello for certain meals, or have plastic grapes in the living room.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t even know if I’ve ever had green jello, and I don’t keep plastic fruit anywhere, but I do have a bowl of grapes on the kitchen counter. Can you see why I’m liking Cheiko? She celebrates diversity. She was actually a convert from the Buddhist faith, and her husband was a Congregationalist before he converted. They both were Japanese and were subject to racial prejudices since during their time people were still sensitive to their experiences during WW II with the Japanese people. (She tells stories of trying to find a home in the SLC area, and being shut out by developers and real estate agents similar to what happens today to black people.)

I took a Cross Cultural Communication for Intl Business last year where we were required to watch the movie Snow Falling on Cedars. The movie was about a Japanese American man who was falsely accused of killing a man. The whole community had to see past their racial prejudices to see that their judgements were clouding the truth. The idea for the class is that we all need to reach a place of transcendence to operate in this global world today. Vaclav Havel, former Czechoslovakian president wrote in a speech given in 1994,

“Transcendence as a deeply and joyously experienced NEED to be in harmony even with what we ourselves are not, what we do not understand, what seems distant from us in time and space, but with which we are nevertheless mysteriously linked because, together with us, all this constitutes a single world.”

For a moment I want to go back and talk a little more about the revolutionary teachings of Christ. Todd Compton wrote an article in Dialogue titled “Was Jesus a feminist?” Some people are uncomfortable with the word feminist because of its association with extremists in the women’s movement, but I like Todd’s more moderate definition:

“The idea that women share psychological and spiritual equality with men and should be treated equally, that our civilization and social structures have been almost unconsciously built on the foundation of viewing women as less than equal with men, and that this is harmful to both men and women.”

Christ came in to the world when women were definitely not treated as equal and his teachings not only challenged the religious orthodox Jewish beliefs, but their social structure as well. Women traveled with Christ at a time when women were not supposed to be out of their home unless doing household duties. Men weren’t even supposed to talk to women in public, yet Christ surprised his disciples by talking to the woman at the well. This woman was also a Samaritan. Most Jews went out of their way to avoid having to cross through Samaria, but Christ did not. Christ broke racial, cultural and religious boundaries to bring hope and deliverance to this people.

A women, Mary, was the first to witness his resurrection. We hear other stories of women in Christ’s teaching, the story of Martha and Mary, the story of the woman who dared to touch his robe and was healed, the story of the woman who washed his feet. So yes, Jesus was revolutionary in his treatment of women and created a path that others could follow. We’d probably be surprised what kind of ideas he might bring to our modern church if he lived today. (I loved throwing in this line, lol)

We all need to develop a personal relationship with Christ. Some of my greatest moments where I’ve felt his presence in my life have happened while driving through the canyon, or out on an errand, and then a song comes on that just speaks to me and I know the message was perfect and meant for me to hear right then and there at that moment in time. The Spirit can teach through music. The Spirit can also teach through silent moments and mediations.

Cheiko Okazaki said:

“Do not feel that you need to be at the chapel to be in the presence of the Savior. He is with us as we talk to our children, as we wash our dishes, as we hurry to the market, as we greet others at our place of work. He understands the things that hurt us and worry us. He is with us when we grieve, just as he is with us when we rejoice. He understands when burdens become too heavy and when we become discouraged and exhausted. He understands that there are seasons when we must rest from our labors, like the winters, and seasons when our lives seem vigorous and new, like the spring. Do not walk away from him. Let him come with you.”

Mother Teresa said there are thousands and thousands of poor, but she tries to think of only one at a time. She states, “You can only save one at a time” We might think we can’t do great things like Mother Teresa has done for the people in the slums of Calcutta, but I like what Cheiko had to say about this too, “Who is to say what is important? I think that giving a five year old in California a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a smile is as important as praying beside the bed of a dying man in Calcutta.” Mother Teresa even stated that what they were doing in the slums, we all can’t do, but we CAN all find those in need in our own community. “We and you together are doing something beautiful for God.” I used to think that I had to be out there in the world to make a difference, I even was going for a Political Science degree with an emphasis in International Relations so I could go out there and change the world. But I’m slowly coming to realize I can make a difference wherever I am. AND I decided I hate politics. Therefore my switch from Political Science to an Integrated Studies program of Religion and Psychology.

I stumbled across a website last year called www.operationbeautiful.com They created a book called Operation Beautiful: Transforming the way you see yourself one post it note at a time. The idea is to transform the way others see themselves by leaving post it notes in public areas that others might stumble upon boosting their self worth. Here are some of the quotes that were posted all over the world just this very week:

There’s always quotes like…

Someone loves you…

Or the youth might recognize this one since it’s from current popular song by Bruno Mars:

You are beautiful just the way you are

But I like some of the more creative ones I found this week.

Posted next to the Slimfast in a grocery store: Don’t let diets define you

Next to the milk: Smile, you’re beautiful…

On a glamour magazine…you are just as beautiful as they are

Next to the nail polish….this color is so beautiful, just like you

Near the romance books…any boy would be lucky to have a pretty girl like you

On the men’s bathroom door…Hey there good lookin!

On a dressing room mirror…You’re rockin that outfit, you look beautiful!

Or my personal favorite; on the diaper changing table in a restroom…You are an awesome mama!

If any of you women or Young Women want to come up afterwards and borrow the book from me, let me know. I just love this idea. Can you imagine the smile it would put on your face to stumble across one of these? You don’t have to go around town leaving post it notes, but you CAN make a change in someone’s life by just smiling, or saying hello. Take time to talk to the person next to you while waiting in line at the grocery store. You never know when someone might really need the comfort you can offer.

In Cheiko’s book she told the story of two friends who were going to go out to the movies. It was going to be a Girls night out! One of them had made 8 loaves of bread that afternoon, and she had two extra she wanted to give away. They decided to stop by a ladies home to offer a loaf of bread. To their surprise, this lady broke out in tears. No one had been by her home in days, she had been feeling very lonely. They came in and listened to her stories, and by the time they were done, of course they had missed the movie. Well, they decided since they still had one more loaf of bread, they might as well drop it off to another family, so they went to another family that had been going through a particular difficult time in their lives. The father begged of them to come in and talk, as no one had been speaking to them since their trial started. They needed to explain their story to someone. These two ladies were willing to listen, to put these people first over themselves. A movie could be seen anytime, but their impact on these two families lives, a price cannot be put on their kindness.

In conclusion I want to mention Transcendence again. Transendence is walking a new path: “Not my way, your way, but OUR WAY”. We can work together with other religions in making the world a better place just as Christ showed us the way. Create a personal relationship with God, sometimes we need to just say “God, let’s go for a drive” and see where the spirit takes you. I hope you all will take the time this week to contemplate where you are with your relationship with God, and to forge a friendship with him. He’s our Father, Christ is our brother, and we should certainly be friends with our family members, right?

I used to work for JetBlue and had the opportunity to go to New York several times. I was able to take my girls to see the Statue of liberty, as well as my parents another time. I love this poem by Emma Lazarus inscribed on a plaque at the base of the statue.

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

I hope that we in the church can be as open to others as our country has been in the past, opening our doors to those that are different, without judging, and with kindness and inclusion. Here’s my last quote by Cheiko Okazaki, “I want us to enjoy each other’s diversity, appreciate all the different styles we have of being individually righteous, and learn from that diversity. After all, what if you went out to your garden every day from March until October and it just had beans in it? Even if you adored beans, wouldn’t you like a little variety? Friends in my ward have been so generous about sharing lettuce, peas, corn, zucchini, and tomatoes with me. Even though I don’t have a garden of my own, I’ve enjoyed the diversity and variety of theirs. And our own differences mean that I’m grateful when someone comes with zucchini instead of responding, “Oh no, not more zucchini! I have two hundred in the backyard!”

Cheiko, who was a former teacher and principal, shared a garden that was once placed on her faculty bulletin board that I want to conclude with.

First, plant five rows of peas; patience, promptness, preparation, perseverance, and purity. Next plant three rows of squash: squash gossip, squash criticism, squash indifference. Then plant five rows of lettuce. Let-us be faithful to duty, let-us be unselfish, let-us be loyal, let-us be true to obligation, and let-us love one another.

As I have loved you, love one another. This is Christ’s teachings. Our church has gone to great lengths to work alongside other churches in our community and the world over. My hope is that each of us, on a more personal level, can be open to embracing those that are different just as Christ did in his time.

I bear my testimony of these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The fruits of our labors...

2011-08-15T11:34:00.000-07:00

We just picked the first cherry tomatoes from our garden yesterday..

They're delicious! We've also had 2 cucumbers already and lots of squash and zucchini to come later! I love having a garden!

Books I've read in 2011

2011-07-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

Silly me, I kept waiting for the end of July to do my semi-annual wrap up of the books I've read. Then I just realized the 6 month mark actually hit a month ago. OKAY... School's about to start next month and my book reading will have to diminish greatly again.

So, here's the books I've read so far this year, and the rating system:

1 star: Didn't like it at all
2 stars: It was ok
3 stars: Liked it
4 stars: Really liked it
5 stars: It was amazing

The 5 star books will be in color.

January:

***** Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn

February:
**** It's Just My Nature! A Guide to Knowing and Living Your True Nature by Carol Tuttle
*** The Geography of Love by Glenda Burgess
***** Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink

March:
*** Dressing Your Truth: Discover Your Personal Beauty Profile by Carol Tuttle (her book got a 3 star but her program she offers online is 5 stars all the way)
**** For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn
** Never let me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
**** The Romantic's Guide: Hundreds of Creative Tips for a Lifetime of Love by Michael Webb

April:
*** Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson
*** Veronika Decides to Die by Paolo Coelho
*** Figure It Out! The Real Woman's Guide to Great Style by Geri Brin
** Does This Make Me Look Fat?: The Definitive Rules for Dressing Thin for Every Height, Size, and Shape by Leah Faldon
*** Little Bee by Chris Cleave
**** Succulent Wild Woman by Susan Ariel Kennedy

May:
***** Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd (this was a 5 star for me personally but for ease of reading it was a 3 star)
***** 1,000 Artist Journal Pages: Personal Pages and Inspirations by Dawn Devries Sokol
***** Collage Discovery Workshop: Beyond The Unexpected by Claudine Hellmuth

June:
** Eat Mangoes Naked: Finding Pleasure Everywhere by Susan Ariel Kennedy
**** The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance by Elna Baker
**** Friendship with God: An Uncommon Dialogue by Neale Donald Walsh

July: (let's just include this anyways)
** Room by Emma Donoghue
***** God is No Laughing Matter: Observations and Objections on the Spiritual Path by Julia Cameron
**** Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century by Carol Tuttle
**** Matched by Ally Condie
**** Bossypants by Tina Fey
**** An Insider's View of Mormon Origins by Grant Palmer
***** Life's Alphabet Soup by Terri Ferran

If you want to see the full reviews go to my account at Goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/1028984-clarice

16 years

2011-07-17T00:33:00.000-07:00

16 years and counting....we've been married 16 years. That seems like ALOT and it is! I LOVE that we've gone above and beyond the 15 year mark. The next big milestone is 20 years and that's not too far away.

For our anniversary we decided (ok, I decided) to hike to the Y. For those of you that don't know, it's this:

Yep, straight up a mountain!

Funny thing is people kept on telling me to do something else. There ARE prettier hikes to go on, but me and my strong personality, I wanted to accomplish something I had never done before. How can I live in Utah almost my entire life and never have hiked up to the Y on the mountain I have been living under for many, many years? No longer. I was going to do this!

So here we are at the base, ready to start hiking:

Oh wait, maybe I DON'T want to do this. Nah. I'm not going back down only to have to come back up and do this all over again, when I'm ready to attempt again. Better to do it right the first time, right?

It's funny how the climb went actually. Pretty close to the beginning Ken saw a trail (if you can call it that) that went straight up the mountain instead of the path that zigzagged a less steep way for all of us "normal" people. Ken decided he wanted to go up that way and meet me where the paths converge again. He made sure to ask if that was ok with me, and since I'm not one to say no, I said go for it.

It took him just as long to travel the steep path as it took me to slowly climb the regular path. (I was still getting used to the climb and started out pretty slow). Then from there on out we traveled our paths differently. Since I was slower, Ken would hang back a bit and let me move forward, then run up and catch up with me. Or sometimes he'd run ahead, but then get to wait for me. A lot of the time we walked hand in hand though, and often he got to wait a moment while I sat down to give my breath a rest.

It reminded me a bit like that poem Footprints in the Sand. Sometimes we walk alone, sometimes we walk together. But always we were aware of each other and our place on the path. For some the path is easier, for others they prefer to take life more at a leisurely path. Some can't make it up the hill, they turn around and go back. Some were carrying their children on their backs. Some traveled in groups, others traveled alone. But we were all there to experience life to it's fullest.

Alright, so enough of that. But really, I was REALLY glad I chose to go. This is exactly what I needed and wanted to do at this moment in my life. Here we are at the top. You can see the background is white and that is the painted rock that makes up the Y.

As you can see, it was pretty dark by the time we got up there:

Magical kisses:

And memories:

So happy to be together. Life is good, even when it's hard sometimes. It's worth it. It is. Better to travel this world together, then apart. I love you Ken. We've created something wonderful. And we're still creating each and every day. May God Bless us and may we always strive to be the best we can be.

New home

2011-07-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

This is the house that the Applegates moved into:

I can't wait to hang a pretty wreath there, I'm thinking a raffia one:

Kind of like this one I found on someone's blog a few years ago:

This is the church right across the street, from the house that the Applegates moved into.

This is the garden that has recently been weeded,(thanks Mom for helping me) in the backyard, of the house that the Applegates moved into.

These are the honeysuckle bushes which are my favorite part of the house that the Applegates moved into (smells SO good)

Here's some of the trees in the backyard of the house that the Applegates moved into. (We have 2 pear and 2 apple trees which I can't wait to buy a hammock for)

These are the boys who played with the boxes at the house that the Applegates moved into.

and played in the couches in the house that the Applegates moved to.

These are the books that the Applegate mom so lovingly sorted by color on her bookshelves.

These are the new couches that the Applegate mom found for only $75 at a yard sale the week before the Applegates moved into their new home.

This is the kitchen with the red table and chairs in the house that the Applegates moved into. (I plan on hanging a map up along the wall there)

This is the vinyl which shall be hung on the walls in the house that the Applegates moved into:

THE END. or maybe just the Beginning....I think we'll be happy here...

Boise Idaho

2011-07-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

Last month I took the chance to ride up with my mother to Boise, Idaho to visit my sister Anita. Of course we had to bring the boys to play with their cousins.

You know their favorite part was probably getting to play the Aspen's video games:

Tasha and Hannah hanging out. (We brought along Natasha specifically because her and Hannah get along well)

Trying on the antler ears at the MK Nature Center in Boise:

Picking up a "pretend" heavy fish:

"REAL" animals:

This snake WAS real, it was on it's way to visit an elementary school:

Reading about fish eggs:

Looking in the aquariums:

Natasha finally out of bed, she spent the first day with allergies and asthma, I forgot to bring her inhaler and had to call in a prescription for a new one to the Boise Costco, poor girl:

Look Mom! Egyptian heiroglyphics! Sure, Egyptians in Idaho, Kalel! I think the word is petroglyphs?

They had beautiful flowers there too:

Photo opp!

Me with my mom and sister!

Smile Mom! I love when I get to snap a fun picture of her by surprise!

Roasting marshmallows in Anita's back yard:

And the kids camped out in the tent, they spent the whole night there I was surprised. I thought they'd get cold, but they didn't.

Thanks Anita and Chris for having us over and for the delicious FOOD! I say I should go visit my brother in Connecticut next, it's been 2 years! (This is when I miss JB flight benefits)

And then there's days like this:

2011-06-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

The kids stuck post it notes on my back today:

So it reminded me I've been wanting to post these pictures the kids made during sacrament meeting at church on Mothers Day.

this one by Zane says, Mom, Fank you...instead of Thank you (he spelled it like he says it)

From Kalel:

Yep, rainbows!

And the best is when Zane starts doing sign language, because I must make him speechless. He likes to do this, I LOVE YOU!

Usually he does a similar one at night when he's tired, except it's I GO TO SLEEP! or I GO TO EAT! That's usually a request for me to take care of him.

On Lions and Motherhood

2011-06-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

The Little Book of Letting Go: A Revolutionary 30-Day Program to Cleanse Your Mind, Lift Your Spirit and Replenish Your Soul by Hugh Prather

View all my reviews

First of all, READ THIS STORY from the book I just got in the mail:

The River and the Lion

After the great rains, the lion was faced with crossing the river that had encircled him. Swimming was not in his nature, but it was either cross or die.

The lion roared and charged the river, almost drowning before he retreated. Many more times, he attacked he water, and each time he failed to cross.

Exhausted, the lion lay down, and in his quietness he heard the river say, "Never fight what isn't here."

Cautiously, the lion looked up and asked, "What isn't here?"

"Your enemy isn't here," answered the river. "Just as you are a lion, I am merely a river."

Now the lion sat very still and studied the ways of the river. After a while, he walked to where a certain current brushed against the shore, and stepping in, floated to the other side.

Floating, is that all it takes? Lately I've realized I have been fighting motherhood for AGES. It's always been a struggle for me. Well, not always. I just haven't seen the silver lining in the clouds very easily. How about that? I distinctly remember hearing a mother talk at church once, when all I had was 2 little girls, and she was talking about how much she enjoyed being a mother and how great it was. I remember thinking, "Oh no, what's wrong with me? I don't feel the same as she does." I see the trials and struggles more. Partly because I'm a glass half empty type of person than half full. I'm working on that, but STILL. Lately since I quit work and now have a "break" from school, I'm getting that motherhood itch again. Maybe I'm just the type of woman that HAS to be out working to make her life balanced. Or maybe I just need to learn to stop fighting it and start floating with life. Now off to find the right spot to start floating instead of fighting like the ferocious lion mother I am. (Hey, I even have the mane of hair, lol)

This idea can apply to any part of our life where we are FIGHTING and struggling. It takes an acceptance to go with the flow of life...I wish you luck in your journey as I follow mine right alongside you.

Tasha's Graduation

2011-06-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

6th Grade Graduation...I like what they did, had the kids put their goals on balloons and released them...

Natasha's Goals:

Go to College
Get a Job
Own a Business
Move out and get my own house!
Have a family
Live a long, happy life!

Finally...the apples.

2011-05-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago the in-laws sent a package to us. I had no idea we were in for this treat, Yes, those are apple costumes:

Forgive the mess in the background, that was us going through the contents of the box...

And then they RAN outside in them and showed them to their friends. I had to laugh as a lady drove by in her car wondering what was up with that sight? ah, Just the Applegates....

Thanks Lola and Grandpa, hope all is going well with you!

Then came Easter....

2011-05-04T14:17:00.000-07:00

The first change this Easter was that the Easter Bunny made a Jolly Rancher trail instead of the "Hersheys Kisses with Almonds trail" that "I" used to like, but can't eat anymore :) Jolly Ranchers = No Temptation for me. (Growing up he used jelly beans to make a trail from my bedroom to the baskets.)

The second change was he left a note that sent the kids on a treasure hunt instead of just leaving the "baskets" on the couch for them to find:

Here's a note from the treasure hunt. I happen to know that our particular Easter Bunny was 15 years old that planned this one all out.

Then instead of Easter "baskets", they all got scripture totes, or for the boys- church bags to bring their toys in.

And each got a $5.00 gift card, the boys to Target since they LOVE it and always want me to take them there to buy a treat:

The girls got GC's to Farr's Ice Cream Parlor and Keilani to Jamba Juice. Notice the pinkish couches against the orange walls I was talking about on Facebook that now require me to repaint sooner rather than later.

Taking the bubbles outside to play:

Tide dyed easter eggs, some of them anyways:

Playing with the chalk from their Easter bags:

And there's our silly life...notice the new header on my blog...Welcome to my...silly life. Who sings that song anyways? Pink?

Then I had a birthday...

2011-05-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

35, guys, I'm 35. No more of that 18-34 category....(sad) But really I'm actually happy with this stage in my life. I've got ALOT more wisdom and experience, and I STILL feel young enough to enjoy life. Especially now that I am eating healthy and the physical barriers are disappearing...Here's to another 35 more at least!

Here's my HEALTHY birthday cake, a chocolate muffin made with our special flour and cool whip which is low carb...

Ken's gift to me, a new wedding ring I've been asking for...well, about a year! The real one was lost 7 years ago when I was pregnant with Kalel and took it off to wash the dishes. I've been wearing fake ones since (or my black pearl ring I got on my ONE trip to Tahiti after graduation)

Keilani got me an Itunes gift card so I got to download one of my new favorite artists album:

and a bunch of Hawaiian reggae music I've been listening to a lot:

My mom and sister gave me jewelry...they know I've been LIVING MY TRUTH by DRESSING MY TRUTH...through this website....I'm sure to talk more about that later...just ask if you have any questions, but part of my happiness now is finding my self and dressing my true self. I look good now not because of the weight I've lost but because I FEEL true to myself and take care of myself now. Look into it, you might find what you've been missing too in life.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE WEBSITE: DRESSING YOUR TRUTH

And here's me, looking fabulous at 35 and feeling like I'm 25 :)

Loving LIFE...

and living a new truth:

Zane turned 5!

2011-05-04T12:28:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting to post this blog post because my sister got all the good shots on her camera. But, hey, it's May, it's about time. March 20th....he wanted a Monkey birthday party so my sister made a monkey cake...

And I searched all over town for a monkey pillow pet:

And the birthday boy:

Logic

2011-04-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

I picked up this book at the library the today:

It's one of those cute little picture books you can literally read in 5 minutes, but so so funny.

Here were my favorite quotes along with my own photos I found online that suit the theme:

My favorite:

Always remember you are unique....Just like everyone else.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs-It's quite possible you haven't grasped the situation.

Smile first thing in the morning...get it over with.

I have one nerve left, and you're getting on it.

Never go to bed mad-stay up and fight.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

If at first you don't succeed, swallow all evidence that you tried.

I would be unstoppable. If I could just get started.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

You can't stay young forever. But you can be immature for the rest of your life.

You don't have to agree with me, but it's quicker.

I never made Who's Who, but I'm featured in What's That.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

I try to take one day at a time...but sometimes several days attack me at once

Your secret is safe with me...and all my friends.

I am NOT tense. Just terribly, terribly alert.

And lastly, my other favorite...

The trouble with work is...it's so daily.

Right now...

2011-04-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

Outside my window: It’s trying to be sunny

I am listening to: Zane breathing while playing on the ipod

I am watching: Math tutor videos required for my Math class

I am thinking: Stop… eating… the… peanuts…

I am grateful for: a simplified life

I am reading: Little Bee, Sam Saboura’s Real Style, and The Princess Bride

I am photographing: Last thing I photographed was my kids in apple costumes, if I can find my camera bag with the memory card reader I could share them.

I am listing: books and cd’s I want to check out of the library

I am creating: Well, I do have a few projects for my bedroom in the works, a giant poster with quotes, and a multiphoto picture frame I want to put pictures of Ken and I in.

On my iPod: Recently downloaded JessieJ’s new cd, and subscribed to a new podcast called Mormon Stories, just listened to Carol Tuttle’s podcast today on identifying your children’s personality types.

I am hoping and praying: for a nice easy going summer, with financial stability approaching.

Around the house: Lots of little messes that need cleaned up. I actually realized the other day that my life would be pretty perfect if my house were just clean. (life long desire: get a maid)

From the kitchen: Made cookies the other day for the kids even though I wouldn’t be eating them. Ate leftover chicken and mushroom for lunch, don’t know what’s for dinner, so don’t ask.

One of my favorite things: Sunshine

The children this week: Back to school after a week off for Spring Break.

Plans for the week: Go to French class, finish Math tests, study for finals, carpool, read the books I checked out of the library, clean? finish projects? Enjoy time with the family…. Ah, just bought tickets to go to a comedy club Friday night, oh yeah! And see Kirk Richards Mother/Daughter art exhibit Saturday.

On this date: last year I have no idea what I was doing….working with JetBlue, finishing finals…probably

( idea taken from some blog I read....)

My bucketlist, what's yours?

2011-04-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write at least 35 things to do before I die (in honor of the big bday) but it became longer, much longer, so here goes in no particular order:

ride a gondola in venice
see the eiffel tower
learn to salsa dance
live on an island for a month
speak fluent french
speak fluent spanish
kids to disneyland
finish the sb albums I've always been meaning to do
walk where jesus walked
give a complete stranger $100 dollars
pay for the person behind me at the drive-in or at a restaurant for a big family with kids
learn how to work the grill
drink a fresh coconut on an island
eat a beignet in New Orleans
dance the night away at an island outdoor "club"
eat crepes in france
eat gelato in italy
free from past burdens
design my own home
learn how to give a good massage (have husband learn this too)
take children overseas for a service project
live with kids overseas
become a grandmother
grow old with Ken
see my children grow to be great adults contributing to a better world
become a religious scholar
get some rhythm so I can dance and not feel off step
give a car to someone in need
give a house to someone in need
visit the castles of europe
ride the eurorail
get a passport
ride in a private luxury jet
become computer literate
be comfortable in a swimsuit
boob lift (you know we all want one)
lasik surgery
sing karaoke
skydive
go bungee jumping
go jet skiing...again
go snowmobiling...again
ski, snowboard, snowshoe, just get out in the snow and see if it's all that bad
go white water rafting...again
if i'm going to do that, learn to really swim (not just plug my nose under water)
visit auschwitz
meet a Holocaust survivor
see the pyramids
visit machu piccu
tour the taj mahal
visit the pcc in hawaii
stay in a beautiful hotel cottage above the water in a place like bora bora
learn a new tahitian ote'a and dance it (once I've lost the weight I want to)
okay fine, I'll go to alaska with you Ken
live overseas for at least a year
that would include having a maid and cook at some time in my life
be able to go on a $5,000 shopping spree
drive a volvo or landrover or something really nice....and RED
learn to apply makeup and keep it going instead of just forgetting about it
exercise and love it
finally learn how to use a digital slr and take fabulous portraits
learn how to paint a room
paint a beautiful canvas of flowers
read all of deepak chopras books
meet deepak chopra
learn yoga
practice meditation
get a masters
attend another ub40 concert
attend an eagles concert
attend and meet matisyahu
attend and meet michael franti
meet yann martel the author of life of pi
attend a postsecret event
become a best friend to somebody (other than my dear husband)
become a great public speaker
donate anonymously to those in need
become a millionaire
retire and travel the world
own a beach house or at least a time share of one
have my dream home
learn more about auras, have my aura read
heal all my chakras
be able to teach in some format what matters most to me
go on a cruise
ride in a hot air balloon
zumba
throw a dart on a map and travel wherever it lands
visit washington dc
go to top of empire state building
maintain my ideal weight
hire a gardener since I'll NEVER be good at that

I think that's 92 of them, I'll have to add some more later so I can break 100!

And if I had taken a different path....

2011-04-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

It's a fact, I've just turned 35. Sometimes that feels very OLD, and other times it seems like the best time of my life. No struggling with the issues one has in their 20's. We usually have sorted out who we are and what we want by this age, and are reaping the rewards of having been an adult for many years. Experience...wisdom...all of that. Would I trade what I know now for youth again? I don't know...

ANYWAYS, I met Ken in the Philippines my last year of high school. Had I not met him I probably would have done one of three things:

1. Come back to Utah and probably become some sort of cowgirl. You see, I already was listening to the music, wore my stone-washed denim jacket with that white wool collar that was in style, and loved riding in trucks, the higher the better.

2. Gone to Hawaii and met some Polynesian man and stayed there...now that sounds better...

3. Become a teacher, stay single, get REALLY smart.

But instead I have THIS much love in the world to share:

I'm finally realizing that "THIS" is good. Maybe I would have been richer or smarter or who knows what, but I've become the person who I am now, and she's a pretty cool person if I say so myself. (With a darn good husband and 5 crazy kids to keep her on her toes)

And I can STILL be smart you know, that isn't reserved for all the single ladies...

If I had it to do all over again

2011-04-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

That last few posts got me thinking. And when I was dropping videos back off to Redbox the other night, I saw this cute little girl waiting for her Dad to get his video. She reminded me of my girls when they were tiny and little. I thought to myself, with the perspective I have now, I would tell that Dad to enjoy her while she is young. Everyone says that, I know. But when I look at that little girl, I look at the 7 year old she will become, at the 14 year old she will be, and on to the women she will become. But when you're in the midst of it all, you can't imagine what that might be like since you've never been there before. All you see is the demanding little 2 year old. Cute...but demanding.

So, here's what I would do differently if I had it to do all over again:

#1 Practice mindfulness-live in the moment, be aware and appreciate all that I have.
#2 Along those lines, record those moments, in a journal, through photos, and VIDEO. How I wish I had video of these little girls running around. That won't be a problem these days for people, since technology has come pretty far, and is pretty much affordable for anyone.
#3 Be happy...happier, happier, happier.
#4 Appreciate myself for who I am, my body, my personality, everything.
#5 Dedicate more of myself to my husband instead of the kids.

That's all I've got right now. What about you? What would you do differently?

(By the way, bravo for me with the photo above. I just figured out how to do a collage in picasa)

Ways to show I love you...

2011-03-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

So, here were some fun ideas too...

1. Leave messages to each other on the bathroom mirror with dry erase markers. (I just bought ourselves a new package)

2. Buy glow in the dark chalk to leave a message on your bedroom wall, the bigger and fatter your drawing the better you will be able to see it, only lasts one hr after exposure to light and easy to wash off.

3. A little note box that you add to daily titled, "Today I love you because"….the answers can be funny, serious, or reflect the mood of the day (you could make this a journal too)

4. What's your signature? It could be something like leaving Hershey’s kisses where your spouse can find them, or something else like heart stickers or scripture cards which you leave in special places when you want to say I love you.

5. Blow up a balloon, write a message with permanent marker, let it set a few minutes then deflate it and send it in a card. (you could use this for birthday greetings too)

6. While he's sleeping, put lipstick on and kiss all over his face so when he wakes up he gets a good laugh when he looks in the mirror.

7. Have a new kiss of the week. Each time you kiss you are showing your love and appreciation. It can be on the neck, hand, arm, forehead. Just do it for a week, then change up to a new place each week.

8. Queen for a day-there used to be a tv show where they took a woman out and treated her like a Queen for the day, do that for your spouse. Arrange a clear schedule ahead of time and surprise them. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just make them feel loved and not have to do all their regular chores since the family is taking care of that, that’s the key…have everything taken care of so she doesn’t have to do it. (This one's my FAVORITE, lol)

9. Purchase the 365 day calendars when they go on sale and personalize it by adding in little events like the first time you kissed, etc. Or you could each day write a message such as 365 reasons you love them, 365 memorable things you’ve done in the past, or 365 things you want to do your remaining days on Earth together.

Date ideas:

1. Instead of Valentines day, celebrate other unknown holidays. For example on National Lumberjack day you can go to IHOP and eat pancakes….the ideas for this are endless. I actually just found these cool websites: http://www.earthcalendar.net/index.php or http://www.holidaysforeveryday.com/

2. Create a cultural calendar, there are many free events and there’s always something going on somewhere. Get on museums and concert promoters mailing lists, look at the weekly entertainment pages and upcoming events in the local section of the newspaper. You’ll always have your choice of a wide variety of things to do. Maybe your community already has an online website where someone has already done all the work for you, check it out and see.

There you go....how about you? any ideas to share?

Ways to give gifts

2011-03-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so a continuation on the book I just read, here are some fun ideas for giving gifts which you can use on anyone really.

1. Wind a strand of string all around the house until you get to the location of the gift. Start at the door (if doing it when they get home) or their side of the bed (if doing it when you wake up)

2. To hide a ring in cake, bake it, then stick it inside with a ribbon sticking out (can make as part of bow on top), frost cake and have her “pull” the ring out.

3. The Gift Tree-multiple boxes with small presents in each one, who doesn’t like MORE gifts.

4. Why reserve piñatas only for kids? Put gifts in a piñata and let your spouse hit the thing to pieces, can use for birthdays, anniversary, Christmas, theme gifts, anything.

5. Friendship box: a little box that you each keep exchanging little tokens of love, chocolate, flowers, tickets to the movies or a concert, a poem, etc...

6. Anticipation-Before an event like an anniversary, trip, bday, or whatever send little gifts (or poetry) daily that have to do with the theme. This would work also for birthdays. Send little things like balloons one day, party hats another day…or for a mystery date, send clues each day to what you might be doing on your date.

7. Camcorder wishes-great for a grandparent, record the kids on video and send that for a birthday gift. Interview them, have them tell stories, put on a play.

8. Bake their favorite cookies, one batch for now, and another frozen for later. You could do this with favorite meals, or other things they like too.

What about you, any great ideas to share that you've done or heard about?

On Romance...

2011-03-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

So, I just purchased this book FOR MY husband...When you've been married 15 years, you tend to lose that spark you had when you were first dating and I'm trying to remind him of all the little things he used to do. Yes, having 5 kids makes it much harder to do, but we all have busy lives. So, my next 3 blog posts are going to be what I learned and liked from reading this book and hopefully you will find fun ways to express love to YOUR spouse as well.

First off, maybe the boring part, but these quotes stood out to me. Share them with your spouse, and apply them to yourself as well of course.

1. Love is like an immunization process. You have to provide booster shots in order to receive the maximum long-term protection against the "enemy". The enemy can be many things, like germs and bacteria that might cause our children to get ill, and in the case of love, if we don’t get immunized and give each other booster shots the enemy can be, for instance, work, tired, hurtful words, taking advantage of each other, and forgetting to touch and say kind, loving things to each other.

2. Never settle for being average. "Many men have the impression that as long as they are not yelling at their wives, beating them, cheating on them, or leaving huge messes around the house, they must be good husbands. All that means is that they aren’t bad husbands. They are probably just average husbands. A man shouldn’t only not cheat on his wife, he should passionately seduce her. Not being a total slob isn’t bad but helping your wife with the chores is even better. Giving her a whole day or week off from her usual chores and you doing them for her is best. Men should never settle for being average. If your relationship has been in neutral, it’s time for you to move into first gear."

3. We need more public examples of romance, not less. I’m not talking about make-out sessions, but the gentle things you do to express your affection. Children, friends, and neighbors need to see more couples holding hands, exchanging butterfly kisses, and gazing into each other’s eyes. It’s how they are going to learn to be romantic themselves.

4. In Australia they have what we call the tall poppy syndrome. In order not to let one get higher than the others, they will cut them down. We have this nasty habit of cutting down all the poppies around us if we are feeling particularly low ourselves. We are tearing up our flower garden. Your mate’s flower is wrapped around yours, if you cut theirs down, yours will be butchered too.

5. Fathers, do you love your children? Do you REALLY love your children? Would you like to know what is the single most important thing you can do for them that will increase their comfort, security and happiness? Time? Unconditional love? A good education? Sage advice? All of these are important, but I consider one thing even more so. Love their mother! Really love their mother.
Nothing contributes more to a child’s sense of worth, comfort and security than seeing their mother well loved. Nothing helps children to have loving, stable, happy relationships than witnessing the same with their parents.
"His father" was much more concerned about his own desires and expectations than the needs of my mother. He didn’t realize that a woman needs to be frequently told and shown that she is special and loved. A woman needs to spend quality time alone with her husband, not just with "the girls". She needs a man who appreciates her special qualities and considers her brain more important than her body.

6. Love is like customer service: Those who work in customer service are taught that when a customer has a complaint, we should first listen to them. We are often tempted to try to solve their "problem" before we even hear them finish telling us why they are upset. If we listen to their whole story, sometimes that in itself satisfies them. They just needed to let off a little steam.
The second step in good customer service is to acknowledge the problem and to be genuinely sorry that everything did not go as expected. A simple yet sincere apology satisfies many situations.
Only after we have fully heard the complaint and have acknowledged their suffering can we truly offer some sort of compensation. In many cases if you ask a customer how they would like the situation remedied, they will offer a solution that is both very fair and will have them very satisfied.
The next time your mate comes to you with a complaint, don’t butt in, but fully listen to them. Be understanding and express sympathy for their hurt feelings. Ask them how they would like to be compensated for their troubles. If you treat them like they are your number one customer they will remain loyal to you.

Happiness is....

2011-03-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

Finding this little sign at Ross for $3.99...

The color red...

Feeling peaceful moments throughout your day...

Sleeping in Sunday mornings with your husband...or Sunday afternoon naps if you don't get to sleep in...

Having your husband cook a delicious dinner for you and the kids...

Finding a new idea to improve your life...

Your kids all getting up on time and going to school without complaining...

Your kids cleaning the whole house for you...(hey, we can dream, right)

Getting a book in the mail that you ordered online...

Having money in the bank account and not worrying it's going to bounce if you put gas in the car....

Realizing your life has not been struck by personal tragedy and being grateful for being spared that yet...

Building your mind, learning new things, learning about the world and it's people, the good and the bad...

Warmth and the sun when it brings it to your life...

Reading your kids their bedtime stories...

Having your girls actually get along and listen...

Having a peaceful quiet moment to oneself...

Going out with friends...

Going out with the husband...

Having someone stop by just to chat...

A nice comment from someone online...

A funny movie or video shared online...

Shopping and finding good deals (related to #1)...

How about you, what's going on in your life that makes you happy right now?

France

2011-03-25T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes what's best for yourself:

A Trip to France to study the language and get college credit at the same time:

Isn't what's best for your family....

I could really use a break from life, 5 weeks of learning the language and enjoying France doesn't sound like a bad idea...some day...

I was in a study group from one of my classes and we were discussing freedom. One of the guys asked us mothers how we defined freedom in our own lives. We both agreed that there was NO such thing as freedom once you have a child. You are completely and utterly responsible for that child for 18 years straight. Freedom... possibly the moments you get away from them, but even then, it's fleeting, because there's no forgetting about them wherever we are. That's a good thing I guess. Our species wouldn't have survived if all the parents decided to abandon their young :)

On Marriage..

2011-03-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

While we're on the topic of marriage,

I just finished this book, For Women Only:

I was split on some of the things I read. She surveyed thousands of husbands and the book is her findings and advice. There were good stuff:

7 Revelations:

Our surface understanding: "Men need Respect"

What that means in practice: "Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.

Our surface understanding: "Men are insecure"

What that means in practice: "Despite their in control exterior, men often feel like imposters and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered"

Our surface understanding: "Men are providers"

What that means in practice: "Even if you personally made enough money to support the family's lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.

Our surface understanding: "Men want more sex"

What that means in practice: "Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life."

Our surface understanding: "Men are visual"

What that means in practice: "Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women"

Our surface understanding: "Men are unromantic clods"

What that means in practice: "Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic-but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.

Our surface understanding: "Men care about appearance"

What that means in practice: "You don't need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself-and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you"

I was feeling fine until I got to the end. That's when I realized the book was ALL about the man, the man, the man. I remember clearly the days when I had little infants and toddlers to take care of and how HARD it was to give attention to my husband and take care of his needs to. My own needs weren't being met. I never did figure out how to get over that when my kids were little, but thankfully now that I'm out of that stage in my life, I have been able to focus on strenthening our relationship. I'm not physically burned out by the attention that little children that rely solely on you for their survival need.

So, even though I KNEW all this stuff even back then, I didn't know how and where to come up with the ENERGY to do it all.

So, what do you think, any suggestions to those Mom's still out there dealing with trying to focus on their relationship while at the same time as raising her little ones?

I think the author has a book called "For Men Only" about us women...I might go read it to get a well rounded look at things...

Opposites Attract

2011-03-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

So, recently I wrote a college paper about transcendence in my life. If you don't know what that word means, here's the wikipedia explanation:

In everyday language, "transcendence" means "going beyond", and "self-transcendence" means going beyond a prior form or state of oneself

What that means is understand another's point of view, transcending our own world into theirs. We watched this movie as part of understanding the differences among people and how we choose to live with those and act upon those.

Snow Falling on Cedars:

But what my paper was really about was my relationship with Ken. See, we are complete and utter opposites...this is part of what I wrote:

First of all, when you see us, you will immediately notice that my
husband is tall, and I am short. He grew up in a Catholic family, I grew up in an LDS family. He grew up in an international culture, going to private schools with maids, drivers, gardeners, and ya-ya’s (the Filipino equivalent of nannies). I grew up in Provo, Utah, where 80% of the population were the same LDS religion. Ironically, he loves the snow, and his dream vacation would be to go to Alaska. I can’t stand the snow, and my dream vacation would be to go to Hawaii. He would love to live in the country. I have to be within driving distance of a Costco. I love to buy things, he won’t even buy himself a new pair of sweats. He comes from a very affective family where hugs were commonly shared, my family from a neutral culture.

His idea of a good night out would be going to a nightclub or playing volleyball all night. Mine would be to sit at home in front of a nice, warm fireplace reading a good book. He’s a very faith driven person, I’m a show me the facts type of person. He’s conservative, I’m liberal. His dream in life would be to have 12 children and I can barely handle the 5 we have. He loves work with a flexible schedule, I still believe in the 9-5 myth. He loves to drive fast, and I’m deathly afraid of speed. He could run up to the top of Timpanogos Cave, I barely can make it up. He makes jokes all day, I have no sense of humor. He’s an extrovert, I’m an introvert. Finally he sees the cup as half full, I tend to see it as half empty.

So, how do we make it work out? We find what we do have in common, we respect each other's interests, and we go out of our comfort zone to do some of the things the other one loves. I finally decided to go to a club with Ken, and it wasn't that bad if you go with a group of friends. He'll stay in and watch a movie with me. I'll let him go play volleyball as much as he wants, he'll let me read as much as I want. Don't ask me how and why it happens, but it works. We complement each other.

So how ABOUT you? Did you marry your opposite and what tips of advice do you have that have worked for you?

What a man!

2011-02-20T23:47:00.000-08:00

So, this is where I get to brag and show off my tall, dark and handsome husband. This last year he's gotten into the whole acting/modeling thing. It's had its ups and downs, but these photos are definitely one of the plus sides of being in the business. All photographs taken by professional photographers. Am I going to take the time to list each one? NO. So if they want to come hunt me down for posting a picture of my husband on my blog, let them.

Let's see where the future takes us with this one!

Oh yeah, he's also in this video, but most of you already know that:

Love you Ken!

Your own Personal Jesus

2011-02-16T08:34:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know I have been on the quest for "My" picture of Jesus. Several friends and family have this one by Carl Bloch in their homes, which I like, but I have this tendency to not want to have the same picture as everyone else.

I really like the style and color in J. Kirk Richard's portraits:

But one day I walked into Seagull Book and found this painting, and even better yet, it was 75% off! It's by a local Utah artist named Benjamin McPherson, so this is THE ONE (so far) on my living room wall, until I find the next best picture. My kids think he's kid of scary, I say he's just PRAYING, good grief!

When I showed a friend this picture she said "Hey, that looks like some musician you posted on your facebook wall not too long ago" My reply, Oh, you mean this guy, Matisyahu?

So, yep, kind of funny, huh, how in my quest to find Christ, I find one that looks like one of my favorite musicians.

Also, just the other day I was at my mothers house and saw THIS picture of Jesus by Greg Olsen and I told her, I SWEAR, he looks exactly like the guy who leads the discussion in my Peace and Justice Studies study groups, EXACTLY!

So I guess, Jesus really is all around us? right :)

On a side note, this IS the next painting I want to get in my home, it's called, "The Tree of Life" by Uota Kazuto:

Nice, huh?

Sundays at our house

2011-02-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

So, this is how Sunday nights usually transpire. Since there's no computer, wii, tv or internet playing the kids have to find ways to entertain themselves. They came upstairs to put on a show:

Why yes, that IS underwear on the boys head.

And blankets, scarves, whatever they could find:

Now imagine the beginnings of the song Kung Fu fighting as they all bow their heads:

And then start "fighting" as the song begins. (And yes, those are dresses the boys are wearing, may they forgive their sisters one day)

And me for posting this, lol. I couldn't help it, but that is us being REAL. Real Applegate that is...

Church Notes

2011-01-17T07:28:00.000-08:00

You know when kids pass notes to each other? This is what I found between Keilani and Natasha after church one day in December. Keilani starts out, Natasha's responses are in purple. This is what we deal with EVERY day. The girls and their little deals and the repercussions if one of them doesn't follow through.

Here goes:

OMG Vivian's annoying

NO WAY! You just noticed that?

:) Hey, can you help me today? Cuz I need to study for my Finals & write a paper & I want to interview you...So can you just pick up little stuff around my room & kinda organize/tidy please? I will give you 3 gum pieces!

No.That's not interviewing, plus I need to hang up all my clothes.

Please! I still have HOURS of homework to do, at least 3 hours or 4 hours & I need to interview later for a class I have.

Depends what the interview is

Just random questions & can you do my room too? Cuz like I said, I still have homework & I have to pack since I have finals & school for the next 2 days, you guys don't have school.

That's because we are awesomerest than you. And I have to pack too. And you can do your own room because it's not that messy as b4.

YOU don't have to pack til Mon or Tues because like I said YOU're home then.Do you know how important finals are? It's more important than any other tests or Homework. If you fail, you fail the whole entire class. You can't make it up. YOU don't have to deal w/it. In fact your life is almost carefree, your biggest worry is if you get grounded. I don't even have time for things like that.

NO!

WHY??? You don't have anything to do! AT ALL!

maybe

Really!? Good. I will give you 4 pieces of gum.

What I've done...

2011-01-14T01:01:00.000-08:00

So, an extension of my last post. I don't know if it's because I'm reading this book right now:

But I have definitely been simplifying my life, cutting back on time on the computer. I'm no longer addicted to Family Feud on Facebook. In fact I am no longer tied down to Facebook either. I'm missing what a lot of my friends are posting, but I'm living my OWN life more completely.

As I've said, I've cut back on my reading BIG time. I used to HAVE to read something every day. I'd go on vacation and have to pick up a book at the store or airport if I forgot one, I'd have to read a newspaper or magazine if I wasn't currently reading a book. Reading blogs online could count too. But NOW, for some reason, I just don't need to anymore. It's partly due to my new commitment to thoroughly understand and retain the information I read, it's no longer just a filler or escape from life, but an enhancer to the life I already live. The one that doesn't need to be tied to a computer or book anymore. Interesting, huh.

So, I read too much. I had over 350 books on my to read list. When friends used to tell me to cut back I always said, no way. I WANT to read all of these books. Well, now, I've decided if I don't think I'll love it, it goes. I have 50 books sitting here I plan to sell, and another 50 books I took off of my to read list at the library. That's over 100 or 1/3 of my books I just cut off of my to read list.

I'm going to post them here so I never forget. I vow to stop buying books at thrift stores or library sales just because they look good or I remember a friend had read it. It has to be a topic I love and know I will enjoy. I know some of these are good books, but if I'm not going to get to them sooner, let's just wait until later .

So here goes, I didn't bother with capitalization or authors, this is just a record.

keeping faith

down these mean streets

pillars of the earth

queen of your own life

when the heart waits

everything is illumunated

patriot hearts

size 12 is not fat

i am the messenger

the measure of a man

the tenth circle

wicked

i know this much is true

city of ashes
the travelers gift

words without borders

princess academy

the midwifes tale

valiant

tithe

ironside

nanny diaries

austenland

goosegirl

something borrowed

something blue

baby proof

love the one you're with

the probable future

and ladies of the club

shortcut in time

shades children

the secret family

if you come softly

the far side of evil

an enchantress from the stars

make lemonade

american chica

the boy on the bus

the door into summer

somewhere in time

woman on the edge of time

kindred

the x president

doomsday book

passage

the last time they met

the namesake
i want to grow up

the magicians elephant

olive kitteridge

to say nothing of the dog

the testament of youth

windup girl

why gender matters

little giant of aberdeen county

the undomestic goddess

dreamers of the day

a mothers book of secrets

emma

boy in striped pajamas

as the ward turns

inside my heart

life and death in shangai

why we buy

biggest elvis

english passengers

gateway

nickel and dimed

time for the stars

the science of everyday life

flavor of the month

velocity of honey

how proust can change your life

hot flat and crowded

satellite sisters uncommon senses

writing your life

open house

here on earth

reading lolita in tehran

our word is our weapon

empire falls

my life in france

enchantment

we were the mulvaneys

vanishing acts

confessions ugly stepsister

hes just not that into you

the wonder of children

theres a spiritual solution to every problem

the prayer of jabez

for the love of god

handbook for the heart

handbook for the soul

simple abundance companion

family tree

knit two

more than you know

the heart is a lonely hunter

comfort food

belong to me

rv there yet

the girl who stopped swimming
hotel on the corner of bitter and sweet
winning with integrity

flowers for algernon

the hour i first believed

mr darcys daughters

the pursuit of wow

if minds had toes

how to be good

zero limits secret hawaiian system

christmas letters

dr kings refrigerator

That's all folks.

One of those stupid words...

2011-01-10T21:25:00.000-08:00

Before the New Year was up I ran into one of Gretchen Rubin's posts on Facebook.The author of this book:

It was one of those, "Choose a word that represents you for the next year" posts. That one word then sets the tone for your New Year and the goals you want to achieve. Much easier than having a list of resolutions you may or may not keep, and then feel bad when you don't. She's not the first one to come up with the idea, but I like it.

My first thought was the word, HOPE. And I responded with that as my word. That's because I have a lot of HOPE that this year will be great. But after looking at the goals I want to accomplish this year, I changed my word to COMPLETE. These are the 3 things I plan to do in my life this year relating to the word COMPLETE.

1. COMPLETE the projects I start. As I sit here right now I am looking at 5 picture frames in my front room that I have yet to put the pictures in. I have little projects like that all over that I start, and then lose momentum in finishing. It's a weakness of mine, but I'm working on it. So, FINISH things. Goal #1.

2. COMPLETEly understand the books I read. I normally tear through a book a week. I used books as my escape, as my entertainment, and not enough for my education. I wasn't retaining much of what I was reading. If you asked me what the main charcters names were, I probably couldn't tell you. I enjoyed the words, thoughts, ideas and stories, but I wasn't internalizing them enough to be able to have an intelligent conversation about it.

So this year, I will SLOW down on my reading, make notes in the books I read. Summarize thoughts, feelings and ideas as I come across them, sticky notes, notebooks, whatever it takes for me to REALLY appreciate a book. I want to REMEMBER more than just how I felt about the book.

This hasn't been going well for my reading so far though. I took a huge CS Lewis book on vacation with me, and I didn't read much because I thought I had to have a pen with me to write notes. So all the sudden book reading became really book studying. I lost the ability to just ENJOY it. At night I would look at a book on the nightstand and decide NOT to read it, because I don't feel like taking notes when what I really want to do is read myself into blissful sleep. So this will be a fine line I will have to face. Maybe I need to give myself permission to let go and just read for fun at least sometimes. Goal #2.

3. COMPLETE in my relationships. Not having to work has helped me invest more in my relationships with my family, especially with Ken. When I was being stretched too thin I had no time for anyone else, let alone myself. I plan to continue working on that, and becoming WHOLE in my relationships with those around me. Friends, family, strangers I meet. Never leave anything unfinished there either. Goal #3.

And that's it.

Wait, no it isn't. So, New Years Eve I asked the family to all choose a word they would like to focus on. Keilani's first response was SLEEP. Natasha's was CHOCOLATE and Vivian's was READ. Of course, their favorite things to do. I mentioned you have to have a goal around that, something positive. Vivian has now joined Goodreads so she can keep track of the books she has read. Don't ask me what the rest are going to do. Zane actually said something really profound like PRAY and Kalel, I'll have to come back and update you on that one when he's awake and I can ask him.

Ken, he just scoffed and said, "He doesn't do those things" When I asked him why he said, "Because I make goals all year long, not just now." So yeah, this is one of those stupid word things in his book. But for me, it has helped me to keep focus and not forget. Like I said, easier to remember one word, then a bunch of goals. Try it, if you COULD pick one word, what would yours be?

Books Part Two

2011-01-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

Here's the books I've been reading since August of last year.

Star Rating System:
*Didn't like it
**It was ok
***Liked it
****Really liked it
*****It was amazing

August (of course, the month I DID NOT have school):

I am a Mother by Jane Clayson Johnson ***
If I stay by Gayle Forman **
Beatrice and Virgil by Yann Martel ***
The Tale of Desperaux by Kate DiCamillo *****
When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home by Erma Bombeck ****
Cut by Patricia McCormick **
Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert ***
The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell *****
This world we live in by Susan Beth Pfeffer ***
Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland by Christopher Browning *
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby ***
Survival in Auschwitz by Primo Levi ****

September: (still read a lot this month too):

Children of god by Mary Doria Russell *****
Dance with Them: 30 Stumbling Mothers Share Glimpses of Grace by Kathryn Lynard Soper *****
Dear Mom: Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You to Know But Will Never Tell You by Melody Carson ****
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins ***
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender **
Etre the Cow by Sean Kenniff ****
The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Friedman ****
The Sunday Philosophy club by Alexander McCall Smith **
On being NonProfit by Peter Frumkin **

October:

Freshman Orientation by Edward Sidlow ***
Managing the Nonprofit Organization by Peter Drucker ****
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin ***
Expect Nothing by Clarice Bryan **
Day After Night by Anita Diamant ****
The Facts Behind the Helsinki Roccamatios by Yann Martel *****
Pitching My Tent: On Marriage, Motherhood, Friendship, and Other Leaps of Faith by Anita Diamant *****
Food Rules: An Eaters Manual by Michael Pollan *****

November: (it's getting to be less, but ONLY good books):

French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure by Mireille Guiliano ****
The Year of Living biblically by AJ Jacobs *****

December:

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri ****

Started, but not finished yet:

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life
by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Small Wonder by Barbara Kingsolver
C. S. Lewis Signature Classics: Mere Christianity, The Screwtape Letters, A Grief Observed, The Problem of Pain, Miracles, and The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
Life Is a Verb: 37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally by Patti Digh (At this rate I might be done with this one in 37 years, lol)

Coming up next, the post where I tell you WHY this year 2011 I am sure to only read 1/2 of what I've been reading in the past. 63 books read last year, so maybe my goal for the new year will be to do at least 30?

NYE 2011

2010-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

Kalel

Tasha, wearing MY top I got from Santa, how dare she! Yes, that's started already, the sharing of the clothes

Moi

Playing telephone while eating pizza for dinner:

Kei asked for veggies:

We played the board game Quelf. If you haven't played it, you MUST come to our house and play it.

The Mataoa side of the family wouldn't see the humor in it, but the Applegate side (us) LOVED it.

It makes you do silly things like dance the hula and wear a tie for the rest of the game. At one time we all had to end each of our sentences with "for shizzle" until another card was drawn that said we could do something else. That was... interesting.

Oh, technology. Ask the kids what I did with this laptop after asking Ken to get off of Facebook and actually PARTICIPATE in the game we were playing.
He just needed one more minute! Of course. Of course. We all know how long that one minute is. Our last "disagreement" of the year, documented. Ha.

and there's Tasha not being able to tear herself away from the Ipod touch.

Watching the fireworks outside our front door:

Our Scrabble game, we played til 1 am I think?

Kalel in our bed 10 minutes before midnight, I had to convince him to stay up just a little bit longer!

And there's our New Year, fun, food and your typical family drama. Thanks to Ken for letting us stay in and spend that time together as a family. I know how much he likes "going out" on these nights (Filipinos really party it up on NYE). We actually tried finding a place to go out to, but my advice, never save anything for last minute. Lots of places were booked or too far away (SNOW was a big factor in staying home this year)

Hope everyone has a great New Year. Ours has already been!

Messy Zane

2010-12-31T21:39:00.000-08:00

I can't think of a better way to end the year of 2010 than with a post with some of the possible things Zane can do.

He can turn this bottle...

into this.

Thanks Zane, I had borrowed that from a neighbor. I paid her back in Cookies afterwards. Notice he's trying to hide his face in shame once I got the camera to document his naughtiness.

Then, I "think" this is flour. My memory escapes me, but it could have been cornstarch too. I'm thinking cornstarch, because I remember wondering how on earth something so small could turn into this. Ignore the dates on the camera..that was me not knowing how to turn that off until later. It was really 2010. Had to be.

Making the girls help clean it up, they got a mop and even still they couldn't get it all. It actually turned it pasty. Fun, huh. You can see how it went under the couch too. Amazing.

And that was our year, Amazing and MESSY. Wonder what next year will bring.

Cali Christmas

2010-12-26T21:37:00.000-08:00

Christmas was spent in California this year, no rushing back Christmas day because that's when the flights looked good, or when I had to work.

Here's the set up for our Christmas Eve Dinner. Grandpa and Lola transformed the downstairs into a beautiful dining room that could fit all 18 of us. There's a kids table back there too.

It takes a small fortune to feed an army this big...I played a guessing game with the girls on how much this prime rib roast cost...let's just say WELL over $100. Who knew your local Costco sold such a thing?

And more side dishes thanks to their marvelous Aunt(I never know she loved cooking, helpful to know :)

They even had these cute little stockings, Paul put those lumps of coal in them. The ones that are really chocolate candy...

More Christmas presents than you can imagine, since each aunt or uncle gives ALL 5 kids a gift. That's 25 gifts there on top of Grandpa and Lola's and the gift exchange the rest of us adults do with each other.

They get big gifts like these two remote control cars:

Then since we didn't have to rush back, Santa had to visit us in this hotel:

Oh look, an orange, what every child wishes for Christmas morning.

Kalel got Scrabble. After bringing it home and playing it on New Years Eve, he mentioned, "Hey Mom! That Scrabble game should have said to the whole family, since everyone plays it" True, true. Maybe Santa thought he'd had enough toys for the year though.

He actually lost his front tooth right before we came. If only he could have lost his other one we could sing the song, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

And the best part for me, that we finally have another cousin for them to play with. She's the cutest, cutest thing. Here she is opening her first Christmas present.

and she fell in love with one of the boys toys, which I just had to let her keep after I saw her playing with it.

Thanks to everyone who helped make this trip possible, good memories, good memories!

Trippin

2010-12-25T21:15:00.000-08:00

So, since I no longer work for an airline we had to actually DRIVE this time to get to California for Christmas. I spent many, many hours stressing about driving through the Sierra's, seriously contemplating staying behind if that meant driving through the snow again. Last time our van sort of slid down a hill. Ken gained control, but I never forgot the moment of helplessness having no control over what was about to happen next.

A friend of Ken's happened to mention a week before we left, a route he took Thanksgiving weekend (the snow hit the Sierra's hard that weekend) going south through Las Vegas, heading west to Bakersfield, then North to San Francisco) We literally chose to take that path moments before hopping in the van at midnight, ready for a long trip. It adds 2 hours to an already long trip, but if that meant no snow, that made me very happy.

A view from the window:

Tasha getting to open up her birthday presents on the road, yep, traveling on her birthday:

So, no snow, but we hit some patches of FOG:

Oh, and look, that "highway" between Las Vegas and Bakersfield tends to be prone to flooding. Good thing we didn't know that before we left.

I still would have taken flooding any day over snow.

Ken getting a moment of rest while I drove...of course I got the flooding and fog part. Of course.

The kids were great, best car ride I've ever had with them. It helps that they're all close to 5 and above finally.

Tasha's 12!

2010-12-22T03:33:00.000-08:00

She turned 12 on the day of our car trip to California. (had to ride in a car the whole day, but I got her this hat she'd been wanting)

Of course, Nancy made another great cake:

and 12 candles on a cake really light it up!

At our church when a girl turns 12 they enter a program called Young Women's. They do activities together every Wednesday night, and so I got her this Young Women Values bracelet to commemorate this moment for her:

Keilani said, "Hey, I didn't get one when I turned 12." Maybe I'll have to get her something similar on her next birthday.

Festival of Trees

2010-12-20T22:58:00.000-08:00

Some Festival of Trees pictures for those of you that never get to make it there, we try to go every year. I love to see what brilliant or weird ideas people come up with.

Coca-cola theme:

Twilight, yep, it says, "Christmas in La Push"

Cookie Monster:

Where the Wild Things are:

Winnie the pooh:

Bet you've never seen a tire tree before? Unless maybe you visited a tire shop during Christmas.

I thought this was pretty creative, half the tree BYU, and the other half, their rivals, University of Utah.

Those are ballet slippers in there.

And a sock monkey?

Lots of cute, pink, over the top stuff, I think I see baby shoes in there too.

I always like different themes like this safari one. One year there were two Polynesian ones, unforgettable for me.

And this one has all those paper cranes.

All these trees are made in memory of someone that has passed away, or that has had medical conditions and been treated at Primary Children's Medical Center. So, all these crazy themes actually reflect what was important to that person, whether it be Twilight, ballet or Winnie the Pooh.

Our own Gingerbread house

2010-12-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

This is where you get to laugh: Here are the pictures of the "Applegate" gingerbread house. We recieved the kit from our "secret friends" that did the 12 days of Christmas on us. (More on that later)

We took it with us to California to put together, and here is the result of mine and the childrens handiwork, and their enjoyment: (I am NOT the cake decorator in the family)

Gingerbread Houses

2010-12-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

So,every year we try to make it to the Festival of Trees. They always have the most amazing things to look at and buy. And all proceeds go to Primary Childrens Medical Center. Here's a glimpse of the cool Gingerbread houses they had this year:

This one's called "Tahitian Christmas" That's a pig roasting there on the porch.

A log cabin:

Candy overload:

I liked the stone work on this one:

And a Toy story one:

Oh Christmas Tree

2010-12-01T14:14:00.000-08:00

We're getting there, we're at December now at least. Decorating the old Christmas tree:

Kalel's 7 now!

2010-11-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

Going into Labor with Kalel was one of the most vivid memories of my lifetime, possibly because I did it natural and without an epidural. I also remember the night before staying up until midnight to play Fast Friday with my friends at Lifetime Moments. We joked about me going into labor, and lo and behold a few hours later, I wake up in the morning with labor pains. I remember taking a shower, starting a load of laundry, then just dressing in my robe to go to the hospital.

Nicolas Cage had named his son Kal-el that same year, I think AFTER we decided on our name Kalel. Regardless, that's not why we named him Kalel, but I bet Ken and Nicolas Cage were both inspired by the same man: Clark Kent. (PS, I would have been fine with Clark as a name too, but Ken got to choose and William Kalel Applegate it was)

Taken at the hospital bundled up to come home:

And here he is now! Can't believe it's been 7 years!

His birthday tends to fall around Thanksgiving time, so with the family we celebrated on Thanksgiving day, and Nancy made this cool turkey cake.

Skyping with the family in Connecticut, they got to watch him blow out the candles.

And his birthday present, a remote control helicopter he'd been wanting for at least a year!

When asked what kind of cake and party he wanted, he chose a Shark theme party.

Nancy, the new cake decorator of the family made him a shark cake: Mad skills.

Pretty cool inside too!

Pinata time:

And digging for the candy, look at Kalel's pile!

Idaho Part Two

2010-11-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

A month after I went to Idaho with my sister and Mom, I took my 2 girls and Mom back up for another cousin's wedding. They couldn't wait to go to the same "haunted house" I had taken pictures at last time, so here's my country girls:

Singing in the Rain

2010-11-01T14:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe not...

But she was!

And now he is!

And this one, is the whole reason I grabbed my camera. It was the first rain this fall, and he was so thrilled to be jumping through the puddles. Ah, childhood pleasures.

Halloween

2010-10-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

Trunk or Treat at the Church:

Before trick or treating fun at Nancy's house: That's a pudding graveyard with cookie tombs and pretzel sticks, edible fun!

I had Stitch, so I had to get Vivian to dress up as Lilo:

Keilani was Bob Marley:

Vivian came up with a gypsy costume on her own, very stylish:

Ken when he come home from a Halloween Father/Daughter activity with the girls, look what they did to him:(those are trash bags he's wearing)

Even scarier, look what they did to Natasha:

My favorite costume of the year, Stitch, for my little destroyer:

Kalel as a race car driver:

Trick or treating with the cousins:

And the best part, the candy stash:

Vivian Part Two!

2010-10-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

I forgot, Vivian got 2 bday celebrations, one with her friends and the other with the family.
Nancy made this ghost cake:

Silly Vivian faces:

The whole gang:

And side note, she shares her birthday with this dog: Zaire. I still remember going into labor that night and saying, "NO! Not on the same day as the dog has her puppies!"

Vivian turns 10!

2010-10-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

For Vivian's birthday we were insane and let her invite all the friends
she wanted to, so ended up with 16 10 year olds at our house...LOUD 10 yr old girls. It was a Halloween Costume party as usual, we had apple bobbing, donuts on a string, gummy worms in cool whip (eat them without using your hands), made witch cupcakes, and that's all I can remember, or can remember, lol.

General Conference

2010-10-04T15:33:00.000-07:00

Every spring and fall our church has what we call General Conference. It's where instead of going to church for 3 hrs on Sunday we get to watch from the comfort of our own homes, our church leaders speak to us, broadcast on local tv, if you're in Utah. But that's for 4 hours on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday.

Some people opt out of watching on Saturday, thinking they'll just play catch up and watch it later or read the talks online instead. Our family WATCHES all 4 sessions live.

But then our house ends up like this:

Keilani basically sat and tried to read Mockingjay the whole time:

The girls set up a tent in our family room:

The boys made messes with any food they could find, like these marshmallows in a toy:

and here are the culprits:

So Happy Sabbath! Normally we try to make it up to the mountains to take pretty pictures of the foliage. Don't ask why we didn't this time, it sure would have made prettier pictures than these. But I wanted to record a snapshot of our real lives.

Welcome to...Africa

2010-09-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

So, there's this story, which is beautiful, about how a mother copes with life after having a child with a disability.

by Emily Perl Kingsley
Print Version

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome To Holland".

"Holland?!?" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

And how does that apply to me? As I was driving in the car this morning I kept thinking how I feel like I'm strapped in this plane, heading to where, only God knows. I thought my destination was some beautiful place like France, but instead I've been delivered to Africa....Maybe some French speaking country in Africa, nevertheless, I am not in Paris, enjoying fine wine and cheeses. I am struggling to provide the basic necessities of life to my children just as is such a problem in Africa. Healthcare, food, shelter...okay, I have a place to live, but it's not as nice as I'd like it to be.

Anyways, I guess that's my trial, to accept that I did not get a ticket to France after all...I'm trying to save up enough for a ticket, but maybe I just need to accept Africa how it is right now...and enjoy the beauty there is...maybe a Safari? Good thing I'm headed to the mountains today, and Idaho tomorrow. I need the reflection time, and some peace...

Oh, and Africa has good music AND the opportunity to help so many in need...yeah

Idaho....

2010-09-05T18:33:00.001-07:00

My mother is from Idaho....I remember going up every year to Idaho to see my grandma and cousins....it's just part of my childhood. Lately, we haven't been up there as much, since my grandmother is gone, it takes something like someone getting married, or a family reunion to go there.

We just went up last week, my mom, my sister and I, and left the kids at home. I found myself captivated by the endless fields of wheat, potatoes and LOVED that at night time, you could look around and see the stars, no nearby houses or trees in your way.

I could ALMOST picture myself living there...such peace found there, which is what I keep saying I need in life. I wonder if I would have found that same peace with my kids in the car, "Mom, she touched me...Mom,I need to go to the bathroom....Mom, I'm bored!" We'll see, this month I go back for another wedding, and I get to bring the kids with me this time...

Here are pictures of us visiting old houses, and cemeteries...my grandparents, great grandparents, aunt and uncle all are in the same Shelley cemetery. We went and picked wild sunflowers and took them to their graves.

Next blog post: back to school....I haven't posted yet, since Keilani still has yet to have her back to school day, she finally starts Tuesday!