I focused a lot on the words of Cheiko Okazaki, a former Relief Society presidency member back in the 1990's, right when I was becoming a new mother msyelf. Her words of inclusion of all people are similar to me of what Christ taught back in his time. She passed away just this year, but her words and legacy will last forever. So, here's the full talk in all of it's glory for you to read. I probably didn't deliver it exactly as you read it, but this is the general idea I put out there. I must have done well, since I was asked to substitute teach in Sunday School the following week, and I accepted the challenge, crazy ME!
Ken and I met in the Philippines, my last year of high school. I was born in Tahiti, but raised here in Provo. Ken was born in Virginia, but raised in the Philippines. My last year of high school, my father who works in the church translation department, had to move to the Philippines to help set up their translation department. I met Ken at the International School of Manila there. After I came back to Utah the following year, Ken followed me here, was baptized, and then we were married a year later. 10 months after that Keilani was born, and now the rest is Applegate history.
It wasn’t a full year since Ken was baptized that we wanted to get married while my family was back in town on home leave for the summer. I didn’t want the traditional here comes the bride scenario so I chose to have my best friends mother play the song As I have loved you on piano as I walked down the aisle. These are the lyrics:
As I have Loved you. Love one another. This new commandment. Love one another. By this shall men know, ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
As I have Loved you. Love one another. This new commandment. Love one another. By this shall men know, ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
You all may remember when we had the Jehovah Witnesses in our neighborhood not too long ago. They had another thing coming when they arrived at my house as I had just finished reading Neale Donald Walsh’s book “Friendship with God.” For those of you not familiar with him, his message is.
WE ARE ALL ONE. OURS IS NOT A BETTER WAY, OURS IS MERELY ANOTHER WAY.
I had a long discussion with them trying to help them see my viewpoint. From what I understood they were only interested in “saving” us. They didn’t realize that I respect their religion as much as my own, and as much as anyone else’s in our world.
WE ARE ALL ONE. OURS IS NOT A BETTER WAY, OURS IS MERELY ANOTHER WAY.
I had a long discussion with them trying to help them see my viewpoint. From what I understood they were only interested in “saving” us. They didn’t realize that I respect their religion as much as my own, and as much as anyone else’s in our world.
In John 14: 2 Jesus said, “My father’s house has many mansions.” Christ was going to prepare the way. I find comfort in our LDS perspective and the different degrees of glory. I find comfort that each person in the afterlife will find themselves where they are most comfortable. There is a place in heaven for all people, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and even the Jehovah Witnesses. We aren’t all condemned to go to hell if we didn’t follow a certain path. My favorite quote from Walsh’s book was “Must a rose be “better” than an iris in order to justify it’s existence? I tell you this: you are all flowers in the Garden of the Gods.”
I like the way Cheiko Okazaki worded it in her book Cat’s Cradle,
“What teaches us gratitude better than diversity? In a world of apples, grapes, bananas, mangos, pineapples, plums and papaya, where on earth did we ever get the idea as Mormon women that we should all look alike, sound alike, and talk alike?”
Cheiko also said,
“Yes, unity is important in the church. But sometimes we misread these strong messages for unity as instructions to look alike, talk alike, dress alike, think alike, have the same number of children, keep house a certain way, serve green jello for certain meals, or have plastic grapes in the living room.”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t even know if I’ve ever had green jello, and I don’t keep plastic fruit anywhere, but I do have a bowl of grapes on the kitchen counter. Can you see why I’m liking Cheiko? She celebrates diversity. She was actually a convert from the Buddhist faith, and her husband was a Congregationalist before he converted. They both were Japanese and were subject to racial prejudices since during their time people were still sensitive to their experiences during WW II with the Japanese people. (She tells stories of trying to find a home in the SLC area, and being shut out by developers and real estate agents similar to what happens today to black people.)
I took a Cross Cultural Communication for Intl Business last year where we were required to watch the movie Snow Falling on Cedars. The movie was about a Japanese American man who was falsely accused of killing a man. The whole community had to see past their racial prejudices to see that their judgements were clouding the truth. The idea for the class is that we all need to reach a place of transcendence to operate in this global world today. Vaclav Havel, former Czechoslovakian president wrote in a speech given in 1994,
“Transcendence as a deeply and joyously experienced NEED to be in harmony even with what we ourselves are not, what we do not understand, what seems distant from us in time and space, but with which we are nevertheless mysteriously linked because, together with us, all this constitutes a single world.”
“Transcendence as a deeply and joyously experienced NEED to be in harmony even with what we ourselves are not, what we do not understand, what seems distant from us in time and space, but with which we are nevertheless mysteriously linked because, together with us, all this constitutes a single world.”
For a moment I want to go back and talk a little more about the revolutionary teachings of Christ. Todd Compton wrote an article in Dialogue titled “Was Jesus a feminist?” Some people are uncomfortable with the word feminist because of its association with extremists in the women’s movement, but I like Todd’s more moderate definition:
“The idea that women share psychological and spiritual equality with men and should be treated equally, that our civilization and social structures have been almost unconsciously built on the foundation of viewing women as less than equal with men, and that this is harmful to both men and women.”
“The idea that women share psychological and spiritual equality with men and should be treated equally, that our civilization and social structures have been almost unconsciously built on the foundation of viewing women as less than equal with men, and that this is harmful to both men and women.”
Christ came in to the world when women were definitely not treated as equal and his teachings not only challenged the religious orthodox Jewish beliefs, but their social structure as well. Women traveled with Christ at a time when women were not supposed to be out of their home unless doing household duties. Men weren’t even supposed to talk to women in public, yet Christ surprised his disciples by talking to the woman at the well. This woman was also a Samaritan. Most Jews went out of their way to avoid having to cross through Samaria, but Christ did not. Christ broke racial, cultural and religious boundaries to bring hope and deliverance to this people.
A women, Mary, was the first to witness his resurrection. We hear other stories of women in Christ’s teaching, the story of Martha and Mary, the story of the woman who dared to touch his robe and was healed, the story of the woman who washed his feet. So yes, Jesus was revolutionary in his treatment of women and created a path that others could follow. We’d probably be surprised what kind of ideas he might bring to our modern church if he lived today. (I loved throwing in this line, lol)
We all need to develop a personal relationship with Christ. Some of my greatest moments where I’ve felt his presence in my life have happened while driving through the canyon, or out on an errand, and then a song comes on that just speaks to me and I know the message was perfect and meant for me to hear right then and there at that moment in time. The Spirit can teach through music. The Spirit can also teach through silent moments and mediations.
Cheiko Okazaki said:
“Do not feel that you need to be at the chapel to be in the presence of the Savior. He is with us as we talk to our children, as we wash our dishes, as we hurry to the market, as we greet others at our place of work. He understands the things that hurt us and worry us. He is with us when we grieve, just as he is with us when we rejoice. He understands when burdens become too heavy and when we become discouraged and exhausted. He understands that there are seasons when we must rest from our labors, like the winters, and seasons when our lives seem vigorous and new, like the spring. Do not walk away from him. Let him come with you.”
Mother Teresa said there are thousands and thousands of poor, but she tries to think of only one at a time. She states, “You can only save one at a time” We might think we can’t do great things like Mother Teresa has done for the people in the slums of Calcutta, but I like what Cheiko had to say about this too, “Who is to say what is important? I think that giving a five year old in California a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a smile is as important as praying beside the bed of a dying man in Calcutta.” Mother Teresa even stated that what they were doing in the slums, we all can’t do, but we CAN all find those in need in our own community. “We and you together are doing something beautiful for God.” I used to think that I had to be out there in the world to make a difference, I even was going for a Political Science degree with an emphasis in International Relations so I could go out there and change the world. But I’m slowly coming to realize I can make a difference wherever I am. AND I decided I hate politics. Therefore my switch from Political Science to an Integrated Studies program of Religion and Psychology.
I stumbled across a website last year called www.operationbeautiful.com They created a book called Operation Beautiful: Transforming the way you see yourself one post it note at a time. The idea is to transform the way others see themselves by leaving post it notes in public areas that others might stumble upon boosting their self worth. Here are some of the quotes that were posted all over the world just this very week:
There’s always quotes like…
Someone loves you…
Or the youth might recognize this one since it’s from current popular song by Bruno Mars:
You are beautiful just the way you are
But I like some of the more creative ones I found this week.
Posted next to the Slimfast in a grocery store: Don’t let diets define you
Next to the milk: Smile, you’re beautiful…
On a glamour magazine…you are just as beautiful as they are
Next to the nail polish….this color is so beautiful, just like you
Near the romance books…any boy would be lucky to have a pretty girl like you
On the men’s bathroom door…Hey there good lookin!
On a dressing room mirror…You’re rockin that outfit, you look beautiful!
Or my personal favorite; on the diaper changing table in a restroom…You are an awesome mama!
If any of you women or Young Women want to come up afterwards and borrow the book from me, let me know. I just love this idea. Can you imagine the smile it would put on your face to stumble across one of these? You don’t have to go around town leaving post it notes, but you CAN make a change in someone’s life by just smiling, or saying hello. Take time to talk to the person next to you while waiting in line at the grocery store. You never know when someone might really need the comfort you can offer.
In Cheiko’s book she told the story of two friends who were going to go out to the movies. It was going to be a Girls night out! One of them had made 8 loaves of bread that afternoon, and she had two extra she wanted to give away. They decided to stop by a ladies home to offer a loaf of bread. To their surprise, this lady broke out in tears. No one had been by her home in days, she had been feeling very lonely. They came in and listened to her stories, and by the time they were done, of course they had missed the movie. Well, they decided since they still had one more loaf of bread, they might as well drop it off to another family, so they went to another family that had been going through a particular difficult time in their lives. The father begged of them to come in and talk, as no one had been speaking to them since their trial started. They needed to explain their story to someone. These two ladies were willing to listen, to put these people first over themselves. A movie could be seen anytime, but their impact on these two families lives, a price cannot be put on their kindness.
In conclusion I want to mention Transcendence again. Transendence is walking a new path: “Not my way, your way, but OUR WAY”. We can work together with other religions in making the world a better place just as Christ showed us the way. Create a personal relationship with God, sometimes we need to just say “God, let’s go for a drive” and see where the spirit takes you. I hope you all will take the time this week to contemplate where you are with your relationship with God, and to forge a friendship with him. He’s our Father, Christ is our brother, and we should certainly be friends with our family members, right?
I used to work for JetBlue and had the opportunity to go to New York several times. I was able to take my girls to see the Statue of liberty, as well as my parents another time. I love this poem by Emma Lazarus inscribed on a plaque at the base of the statue.
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
I hope that we in the church can be as open to others as our country has been in the past, opening our doors to those that are different, without judging, and with kindness and inclusion. Here’s my last quote by Cheiko Okazaki, “I want us to enjoy each other’s diversity, appreciate all the different styles we have of being individually righteous, and learn from that diversity. After all, what if you went out to your garden every day from March until October and it just had beans in it? Even if you adored beans, wouldn’t you like a little variety? Friends in my ward have been so generous about sharing lettuce, peas, corn, zucchini, and tomatoes with me. Even though I don’t have a garden of my own, I’ve enjoyed the diversity and variety of theirs. And our own differences mean that I’m grateful when someone comes with zucchini instead of responding, “Oh no, not more zucchini! I have two hundred in the backyard!”
Cheiko, who was a former teacher and principal, shared a garden that was once placed on her faculty bulletin board that I want to conclude with.
First, plant five rows of peas; patience, promptness, preparation, perseverance, and purity. Next plant three rows of squash: squash gossip, squash criticism, squash indifference. Then plant five rows of lettuce. Let-us be faithful to duty, let-us be unselfish, let-us be loyal, let-us be true to obligation, and let-us love one another.
As I have loved you, love one another. This is Christ’s teachings. Our church has gone to great lengths to work alongside other churches in our community and the world over. My hope is that each of us, on a more personal level, can be open to embracing those that are different just as Christ did in his time.
I bear my testimony of these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
