Welcome to...Africa

So, there's this story, which is beautiful, about how a mother copes with life after having a child with a disability.


by Emily Perl Kingsley
Print Version

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome To Holland".

"Holland?!?" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

And how does that apply to me? As I was driving in the car this morning I kept thinking how I feel like I'm strapped in this plane, heading to where, only God knows. I thought my destination was some beautiful place like France, but instead I've been delivered to Africa....Maybe some French speaking country in Africa, nevertheless, I am not in Paris, enjoying fine wine and cheeses. I am struggling to provide the basic necessities of life to my children just as is such a problem in Africa. Healthcare, food, shelter...okay, I have a place to live, but it's not as nice as I'd like it to be.

Anyways, I guess that's my trial, to accept that I did not get a ticket to France after all...I'm trying to save up enough for a ticket, but maybe I just need to accept Africa how it is right now...and enjoy the beauty there is...maybe a Safari? Good thing I'm headed to the mountains today, and Idaho tomorrow. I need the reflection time, and some peace...

Oh, and Africa has good music AND the opportunity to help so many in need...yeah

Idaho....

My mother is from Idaho....I remember going up every year to Idaho to see my grandma and cousins....it's just part of my childhood. Lately, we haven't been up there as much, since my grandmother is gone, it takes something like someone getting married, or a family reunion to go there.

We just went up last week, my mom, my sister and I, and left the kids at home. I found myself captivated by the endless fields of wheat, potatoes and LOVED that at night time, you could look around and see the stars, no nearby houses or trees in your way.

I could ALMOST picture myself living there...such peace found there, which is what I keep saying I need in life. I wonder if I would have found that same peace with my kids in the car, "Mom, she touched me...Mom,I need to go to the bathroom....Mom, I'm bored!" We'll see, this month I go back for another wedding, and I get to bring the kids with me this time...

Here are pictures of us visiting old houses, and cemeteries...my grandparents, great grandparents, aunt and uncle all are in the same Shelley cemetery. We went and picked wild sunflowers and took them to their graves.








Next blog post: back to school....I haven't posted yet, since Keilani still has yet to have her back to school day, she finally starts Tuesday!

Lagoon

But wait, Summer's not over until we've been to Lagoon! Vivian got to bring a friend along, they got to ride with cousins, swim at Lagoon a beach....those were the days. As I'm writing this (in December), I'm a little bit snowed in with the blizzard we had last night. No way am I driving out there in this weather.

Back to School

Are you ready, so you're about to get deluged with 5 months of blog posts I'm finally getting caught up on. I hope I don't do the same thing again in a few months, this is starting to become a trend. Fall is always a busy time for us, with a birthday every month, besides all the other holidays, and back to school stuff, so that's my excuse.

So, let's start: Kalel's first day of 1st grade at the best charter school around:

The girls in their last year in the regular public schools hopefully (Vivian's been on the wait list a few years now, Tasha will go to a charter school for Jr. High):

And Keilani, 1st year of high school at Maeser Prep Academy, can you tell, she's "thrilled" with the new uniform: